Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Ravens sign Wide Receiver and Homocidal Maniac Donte' Stallworth


What?! You mean you didn't know that The Unfresh Feeling is the place to go for breaking sports news? Shame on you.

So, our beloved Baltimore Ravens have started the off-season with a bang by signing controversial wide-receiver Donte' Stallworth to a one-year deal. The local sports talk radio circuits have been abuzz with conflicting opinions in regards to whether or not this was a positive move by the club. Rest assured disciples of the purple and black, it was a good move...as long as it isn't their only move.

Clearly, the biggest issue detractors of the deal are pointing to is Stallworth's vehicular manslaughter charge. They figure that this is another typical Ravens move, bringing in a criminal and a thug. Unlike the cases involving Ray and Jamal (both of which I thought were bullshit, particularly Jamal's), Stallworth's case was an accident. Yes, an accident that left a man dead, but an accident none the less. Does anyone really believe that while Stallworth was at the club popping bottles of Ace of Spade, he was doing so knowing that on the drive home some Mexican dude was going to dart out from behind a bush into the middle of the street and directly unto the hood of his luxury sports car? Of course not. Should he have been drinking and driving? Again, of course not. But is he a murderer? I don't think so. Since the incident Stallworth has been nothing but contrite and apologetic. I mean, if he wanted to be a dick, he could have gone to trial, dragged it out for a year and probably had the manslaughter charges dropped. The dude he hit ran out into the middle of a highway for chrissakes. Instead he accepted his plea deal and paid the family of the "victim" several million bucks. As long as Stallworth produces on the field, by week 4, most Ravens fans (who aren't members of MADD) will have forgiven him.

Having dealt with that, here are the pros and cons of the deal in football terms:

Pros:

The Ravens got Stallworth on the cheap. He signed a one-year deal for under a million dollars. So, the Ravens got a legitimate offensive threat with very little damage to their salary cap, leaving room for additional deals this offseason. If he doesn't produce or gets in any more off the field trouble the Ravens can jettison him from the roster with minimal consequences.

Stallworth is a good player, or at least he was. The guy has 32 career touchdowns. Compare that with Mark Clayton's 14. If Stallworth can stretch the field and force the opponent's best cover corner to guard him, that will free Derrick Mason (if he decides to return) to dominate lesser defenders over the middle.

Cons:

The obvious PR ramifications of signing another player with a less than stellar police record.

We don't really know what kind of production we will get from him. He didn't play at all last season and even before his suspension he was never an elite playmaker.

This may give Ozzie an excuse to sit on his hands for the rest of the off-season and not try to bring in another big play offensive threat.


All in all, I think the pros certainly outweigh the cons. I like the move, but I just hope this is a first in a string of pick-ups the team makes before the start of the 2010 season.

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