"Hey look, its Cameron from Ferris Bueller!"

Last night was the first installment of NBC's Persons Unknown. The network is calling this show a summer-long mini-series, but it seems more like a summer-long tryout. The series is 13 episodes long, the typical number of episodes for cable series and a tad too many for your average mini-series.

Persons Unknown is a classic example of a show with a very cool premise but sub-par execution. I was instantly reminded of the movie Cube, but the show also has a bit of a Saw vibe as well. The idea behind the show is cool, if not completely original, the set pieces look great, but unfortunately the acting, direction and writing leave quite a bit to be desired.

The plot is a pretty straight forward mystery, kind of Hitchcock meets Clue. A handful of strangers from different walks of life with (seemingly) nothing in common are kidnapped and wake up in strange hotel rooms. Upon breaking out of the rooms and encountering their fellow hostages they group discovers that they are being held captive in an old fashioned ghost town which looks a lot like a studio back lot (in a cool way), complete with sheriff's department, general store (empty), Chinese restaurant and clothing store, all surrounded by omniscient, black-domed security cameras (it seems like every other shot is through the vantage point of these cameras, which gets pretty distracting). Two of the hostages atempt to make a run for it, only to discover that they are carrying around biometric implants that administer a dose of tranquilizer when they cross the invisible boundary around the perimeter of the town.

A wrinkle is thrown into the plot with a story line involving a reporter who gets his hands on a security tape of one of the hostages being kidnapped which leads to a weird interview with the hostages bizarre (possibly involved with the kidnappings?) mother. This plot device doesn't work very well and takes the viewer out of the very cool world of the ghost-town and back to the not-so-interesting real world. Clearly, these scenes will serve a purpose down the line, but they are pretty boring none the less.


Aside from the problems with the acting and the script, I had a bit of an issue with the way that NBC is marketing this show. The tag-line of Persons Unknown is "By the end of this summer, All questions will be answered", which sort of positions the show as the anti-Lost. NBC is basically saying to their audience, "Were you disappointed by Lost? Do you like mysteries that take place in interesting settings? Yes? Well, then do we have a show for you!" The problem here is that by drawing a parallel between Unknown Persons and Lost, they are setting themselves up for failure. Lost, for all its faults, was a pretty damn great show, with not only an extremely interesting and controversial premise, but above average writing and performances by the actors. Unknown Persons is going to have to offer more than the promise of answers to even sniff Lost's greatness. Not only that, but the show's devotion to moving the plot along and "answering questions" comes at the expense of fleshing out the characters. I worry that by the end of the summer when the all of the answers are in, no one will be left to care about what the questions were. That said, it is the summer season, so what the hell else is on? I'll probably check it out for at least a couple more weeks. You should too.

Parenthood continues to stumble out of the gates

After being bombarded with characters and story lines in last week's premier, I was relieved that the pacing of this week's episode of Parenthood slowed considerably. Unfortunately, the "buzz-kill factor" was still in full effect.

The plot of episode two basically just took the stories presented last week and built upon them, without adding a whole lot of new material, which I appreciated. Adam, who we find out is some kind of shoe industry executive or something, is still, at least partially, in denial about his son's Aspergers. Determined to get a second opinion, he seeks out a specialist, a doctor referred to as "the Bob Dylan of Aspergers" who confirms his fears, Max exhibits the tell-tale symptoms of the syndrome. To make matters worse, Adam discovers a bag a weed in his backyard and spends most of the rest of the episode trying to find its rightful owner.

Meanwhile, Crosby uses Max's Aspergers as an excuse to break a date with his girlfriend. Initially this sounds like a totally dick move, but the reason he doesn't want to hang out with his girlfriend is because he would rather hang out with his new-found son and his ex-girlfriend/baby-mama, who have decided to move back Berkeley (which, as we find out, is where the show takes place).

Sarah's family suffers a series of defeats, starting with her attempt to land a fantasy job as a logo designer (or something like that). Adam uses his connections (who knew a guy in the shoe business had so many hook-ups in unrelated industries) to get her an interview, which goes really well initially. The interview scene was one of the few lighthearted moments and Sarah's chemistry with her would-be boss, a much younger Asian dude, is pretty strong. Unfortunately, I don't think we will be seeing anymore scenes with the two together because after the interview Sarah is informed that the job requires a college degree, which she is lacking. After receiving that tough news, she finds out that her daughter is being held back a year because some of the credits from her former school won't transfer to her new school. By the way, is it just me or does Sarah remind you a whole lot of Nancy from Weeds? I'm just waiting for Sarah to say, "Fuck it," and start selling bud to UC Berkeley students to support her kids.

Speaking of Weeds, or weed in general, the episode ends on a high note, literally, with the adults of the family huddled together outside a school play (or something like that) smoking the bud that Adam found in his backyard (which, as it turns out, belonged to his formerly goody-two-shoes daughter). It was nice to finally have a scene that was lighthearted and showed a family just hanging out being a family, not dealing with super heavy issues. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately (I haven't quite decided) I think this scene may spell disaster for the show having any sort of longevity. Networks, historically, do not look too kindly on TV shows that depict recreational drug use in an honest and non-judgmental fashion.

I caught a little bit a flack last week for being so harsh on the show, but I still contend that Parenthood has some major problems. The biggest and most obvious one is the scenes that are supposed to by funny just aren't. Granted, there were a couple that made me chuckle a little bit, like when Max was listing recording artists with number one records. I can't help comparing Parenthood with Modern Family because the premises of the two or so similar (large extended family dealing with issues of parenting and growing up), but the difference between the shows is that when Modern Family ends I feel good about myself and life in general, and when Parenthood ends I just sort of feel depressed. I'll give it a few more weeks to see if Parenthood is able to find its voice, but I'm starting to think that maybe this just isn't the show for me.

NBC's Parenthood Premiers, Everyone Who Watched Contemplates Suicide

As anyone who watched more than 15 minutes of the Winter Olympics was aware, NBC's new family drama Parenthood premiered last night. The show, which is produced by Ron Howard, depicts the trials and tribulations of a large extended family in California. Like a thousand shows of its kind before it, Parenthood seems to be as much about "issues" as it is about people. This series really interested me because, well, I'm gay for family television shows, plus I don't think Ron Howard has ever been involved with a project I disliked.

Here is a cursory breakdown of the characters and the major plots taking form in the first episode:

Zeke- The patriarch (pronounced with a "ch" sound, wink, wink) of the Braverman clan. He seems to want his grandchildren to be raised the way he raised his own children which causes a bit of friction. He might be a Vietnam vet and has the misfortune of delivering the episode's weakest piece of dialog in which he compares parenthood to war.

Camille- Zeke's wife. She strikes me as kind of a aging flower-child. She didn't receive a whole lot of screen time in the pilot, so there isn't a bunch to be said about her for the moment.

Adam- Zeke and Camille's oldest son. He is sort of the Michael Bluth of the family, the guy the other family members rely on to solve their problems.

Kristina- Adam's wife. She and Adam find out late in the episode that their son Max, who they had always assumed was just a little weird, actually suffers from
Asperger's Syndrome.

Sarah- Zeke and Camille's eldest daughter. She and her two teenage kids are forced to move back in with her parents after her marriage to a drug addicted musician collapses. In the pilot she reconnects with a high school boyfriend, played by Mike O'Malley. Her daughter is a rebellious trouble maker and her son, who appears to suffer from depression, puts his deadbeat father on a pedestal.

Crosby- The Braverman baby brother, played by Dax Shepherd (who is not as annoying in this show as he typically is). He is a slacker who works as some kind of music producer. His girlfriend is baby-crazy (going as far as keeping a canister of donor sperm in her freezer), but Crosby is not ready for children. Eventually he relents, agreeing to have children with her in three years. In the most unexpected twist of the first episode, Crosby discovers that he is already a father when his ex-girlfriend pays him a visit with their son, Jabbar, in tow.

Julia- Zeke and Camille's youngest daughter. Julia is a high-powered lawyer who is jealous of her toddler's preference for her husband.

My initial reaction to Parenthood's inaugural episode, aside from being amazed at shear volume of characters and stories thrown at the audience, was "Goddamn, that was surprisingly serious and borderline depressing". It seemed like the family just took one blow after another. Adam's kid has Aspergers, Sarah's kid ran away from home to try to live with his drug addict father, her other kid gets arrested for weed, Julia's daughter loves her father more than her, Zeke's son doesn't want to raise his boy the way he was raised, etc., etc. There wasn't even much comic relief from all the misery. Don't get me wrong, by no means do I need my t.v. families to all be Cleavers or Cunninghams, but for fuck's sake, can't we lighten the mood up a bit? I know being a white, suburban parent is hard, "Oh no, my kid has autism! What are we going to do now?". Doesn't pretty much everyone have autism these days? It's this generation's ADD. Since when are dressing like a pirate and sucking at baseball symptoms of a mental handicap? Granted, the scenes feature Mike O'Malley provided a bit of levity, but all that was negated when Sarah's son walks in on them during post-coital 'fridge raid and freaks out (sounds funny on paper, not so much on the screen).

That said, I didn't hate the show (my girlfriend, who I was watching it with seemed to, but she pretty much hates everything) and I am not ready to give up on it so soon. I look forward to seeing each of the individual characters fleshed out over the course of the season and I can see myself continuing to watch it. I just wish I felt a little more positive when the episode ended.

Yankees win, Aziz Ansari rocks a great T-Pain costume, Michael Scott hangs himself, 30 Rock gets more political and less funny and The League premiers

Last night was a veritable clusterfuck of television programming choices. I may have pulled a muscle in my thumb from flipping through channels. The World Series was on Fox, Carolina shocked VA Tech in Blacksburg on ESPN, NBC ran its standard Thursday night comedy line up, and FX aired Always Sunny along with the premier of its new show The League.

I was very excited to see The League. FX had been running promos for it for months and it looked like it had potential. I mean, how could it not be awesome? FX's track record speaks for itself and the world of fantasy football seems like it should be a comedy goldmine.

The first episode of The League was good, but not great. It certainly had its share of laugh out loud moments, but it also left some laughs on the table. One of the funniest things about fantasy football leagues are the team names (The name of my girlfriend's current squad is Flacco's Crack-ho. Hillarious.). We were shown the name of the league (The Quest for Shiva), but they missed an opportunity for some good fantasy football team name shtick. Also, I wouldn't have minded a few more scenes with The Oracle doling out draft advice. ("How about Larry Johnson?". "Yeah, that is a great pick... In 2005".) I thought Taco's song was pretty funny, and the mere fact that the character's name is Taco is a nice touch. While I enjoyed watching the way the men on the show interacted, the two wives felt a bit flat. (I laughed the first time I saw the scene about the charity event for dogs with down syndrome, "Its an epidemic.", but I had seen the same commercial so many times that when the scene played out in the episode I barely cracked a smile.) I liked the pubic hair joint bit; I once saw a kid take a bong hit of pubes, plus the fact that Paul Scheer's character decided to frame a half smoked joint was great in itself. While I wasn't as impressed with The League's series premier as I was with Modern Family's, I am definitely looking forward to seeing more episodes.

Thursday Night TV Extravaganza

Wow. Thursday night was an epic night of television. Two and a half straight hours of hilarity, most of it on NBC. Here is a run down of the highlights:

8:00 PM – Community
Initially I liked this show. I was intrigued by the notion of Joel McHale starring in his own sitcom along side Chevy Chase (who, by the way seems, to be competing with Ed O’Neil for the “Damn He Got Old Award”), some blond chick named after a popular water filtering pitcher, that black guy from the “Bro-Rape” sketch, Pete Campbell’s wife, and an Indian guy with mild autism. In the first episode, Joel McHale was snappy and charismatic. Unfortunately, the show, and McHale’s character, has become much less interesting and the laughs father and farther apart since. Now the funniest and most likable character is Abed, the Indian Raymond Babbitt.


8:30 PM – Parks and Recreation
Most underrated comedy on TV right now. The cast is superb. I had given up on Amy Poehler when she joined the cast of SNL. The move from Upright Citizens Brigade to SNL was kind of like a football player from a successful small college with a great program who is drafted by the Oakland Raiders. Al Davis might overpay to get you, but you are going to be part of something supremely awful. Rashida Jones is great. (Best semi-racist quote from my girlfriend of the night, "She doesn't even look black at all") It is getting to the point where I have to stare at the floor when she is on screen so I will be allowed to sleep in my own bed that night. She is that hot. She also has a pretty kick-ass resume. Check out her IMDB sometime (Here are the highlights: Freaks and Geeks, Boston Public, Chappelle’s Show, The Office, I Love You Man). The unsung hero of the show (and pretty much everything he appears in) has to be Aziz Ansari as Tom Haverford. He absolutely fucking slays me. His 5 minutes of screen time in Funny People was exponentially funnier than any scene with Adam Sandler since The Wedding Singer.

9:00 PM – The Office (Hour-long Jim/Pam Wedding Special)
I loved the first 55 minutes of this episode. It was absolutely pitch-perfect and had more laugh-out-loud moments than I can count. For whatever reason, this episode seemed to use slapstick type humor more often than we are used to from The Office (the vomiting scene at the beginning, Andy ripping his scrotum) but it really worked well. To me, Kevin stole the show. He was hilarious as usual. I could have done without the whole dancing down the isle bit. It seemed like the writers took the easy way out with the end of the episode. It came off as gimmicky and trite. I would have been happier if they had used those 5 minutes to show a few more scenes with Jim’s brothers or Michael and Pam’s mom. This episode raises some serious questions about how the show will work in the future. A married couple in the office creates a whole new dynamic, one that at first glace does not appear particularly funny. But I trust that the people at The Office will find a way to make it work.

10:00 PM - Always Sunny In Philadelphia
I am starting to get worried. I love this show, and have since the first episode, however this season seems to have more chuckle moments than knee-slappers. As much as I like the idea and will probably try it this weekend, the wine-in-a-can bit seemed to miss. But, like always, Charlie saves the day. It is tough for me to hate on an episode that went to credits with me in hysterics.


-Salt The Snail!