Yankees win, Aziz Ansari rocks a great T-Pain costume, Michael Scott hangs himself, 30 Rock gets more political and less funny and The League premiers

Last night was a veritable clusterfuck of television programming choices. I may have pulled a muscle in my thumb from flipping through channels. The World Series was on Fox, Carolina shocked VA Tech in Blacksburg on ESPN, NBC ran its standard Thursday night comedy line up, and FX aired Always Sunny along with the premier of its new show The League.

I was very excited to see The League. FX had been running promos for it for months and it looked like it had potential. I mean, how could it not be awesome? FX's track record speaks for itself and the world of fantasy football seems like it should be a comedy goldmine.

The first episode of The League was good, but not great. It certainly had its share of laugh out loud moments, but it also left some laughs on the table. One of the funniest things about fantasy football leagues are the team names (The name of my girlfriend's current squad is Flacco's Crack-ho. Hillarious.). We were shown the name of the league (The Quest for Shiva), but they missed an opportunity for some good fantasy football team name shtick. Also, I wouldn't have minded a few more scenes with The Oracle doling out draft advice. ("How about Larry Johnson?". "Yeah, that is a great pick... In 2005".) I thought Taco's song was pretty funny, and the mere fact that the character's name is Taco is a nice touch. While I enjoyed watching the way the men on the show interacted, the two wives felt a bit flat. (I laughed the first time I saw the scene about the charity event for dogs with down syndrome, "Its an epidemic.", but I had seen the same commercial so many times that when the scene played out in the episode I barely cracked a smile.) I liked the pubic hair joint bit; I once saw a kid take a bong hit of pubes, plus the fact that Paul Scheer's character decided to frame a half smoked joint was great in itself. While I wasn't as impressed with The League's series premier as I was with Modern Family's, I am definitely looking forward to seeing more episodes.

"What do you know about banging pornstars?"- Jax

So, it appears that SAMCRO is being attacked on at least two fronts, possibly three, now. First it was just the Nazi’s, now porn-gangster Tom Arnold and maybe even the Mayans want in on the action. It is not clear how SAMCRO will be able to survive, particularly given the ever-widening schism between Jax and Clay. It seems like Sons of Anarchy is at a crossroads in terms of the direction and tone the show will take. Will SAMCRO continue to be live-action comic book characters who ride motorcycles, shoot (and sell) guns, wear cool costumes and always triumph in the end or will the writers give in to some of their darker impulses (like Jemma's gang-rape) and take the show in a more Sopranos/Wire-esque direction, one where your favorite characters die. Or go to jail. Only to reappear in a later season. I'm torn on which direction I would prefer. The show could work either way, I would just hope that if they chose the latter route they would find a few more actors that don't suck for some of smaller roles.

Jemma and Tara had a nice honeymoon period that lasted a few episodes, but it appears that their relationship is beginning to show signs of strain. Tara is still oblivious to the fact that it is impossible for her to be a SAMCRO “old lady” while at the same time maintaining her status as a respected physician and upstanding citizen. Jemma’s conversation with Tara’s boss and the subsequent reprimand she receives are proof of this reality. It is only a matter of time until she is forced to make a choice between the man she loves and the job she has worked her entire life for. Let's hope she chooses the dude.

Luckily for SAMCRO, the Aryan power couple, Zobelle and Henry Rollins, seems to be developing a rift. Rollins screwed up a gun delivery that ended up in a firefight. (How could no one have been at least grazed? Horrible aim on both sides.) This scene didn’t really sit right with me though. How could Zobelle, who up until this point has been razor sharp with the precision of his actions, plan a massive gun delivery so poorly? By the way, who was that third Nazi who sort of took Henry Rollins down a peg? That guy is the worst actor ever. Soupy Sales could have put more life into those lines. (Cue High-hat)

I was pretty surprised by Luanne’s murder.. When I first saw the car on the side of the road with the lisence plate that said "XXX Diva" or something I initially assumed it was the chick that Opie's into. (Jax gets a good zinger at Bobby's expense when Bobby tried to give Opie some advice about sex with porn stars) I didn’t think Tom Arnold had it in him. But I wonder why the writers decided that they needed another antagonist. We already have the Nazis, the Mayans, the Police and the Feds to worry about. But, I am learning to trust the writers so there must be a reason. Maybe Luanne’s death will push Jemma over the edge. She certainly seemed close to a complete breakdown when she smashed the serving dish onto the dinner table.
What is up with this Sonia character (Chibs’ wife). Who is she? And why is Jemma so scared of her? This season has really picked up the pace. I wonder how much they are planning to squeeze into the end of this season and how much they will carry over to season 3.

Oh yeah, and that creep who jacks off constantly is back. Only this time even weirder (Save both pointers, all of his fingers, have been removed by Chinese gangsters as a remedy for the constant jacking off) and more annoying. Great...

Top Three Movie Soundtracks (Rap)

The other day I found my old copy of the Rush Hour soundtrack. I popped it in today on my way home from work and instantly remembered why I had kept it for so long. As far as soundtracks go, this one is loaded. It got me thinking about other movie soundtracks that are chock-full of bangers. Here are my top three rap/hip-hop movie soundtracks:
1. Belly
This is one of my all-time favorite gangsta movies (not to be confused with a "gangster" movie like The Godfather. (Quick sidebar: I have a strange appreciation for "black" movies and television. You know how Netflix will try to suggest movies that you might like based on the movies you have previously viewed? Well, they group these movies into genres like 'romantic comedies', 'buddy-cop movies', 'goofy cult classics'. One of the categories of movies that Netflix most often suggests for me is a sub-genre called 'Gritty African-American Crime Dramas'. What this says about me I do not know. Anyways...) For anyone that doesn't know, Belly is a movie by Hype Williams about two outlaws, played by Nas and DMX. The movie also features Method Man, T-Boz and that thick-ass chick from Bronx Tale. The soundtrack was released by Def Jam and features mainly east-coast rappers. Here are some of the highlights:
An awesome collabo featuring Nas, DMX, Method Man and Ja Rule called Grand Finale. Nas' verse in this song is particularly potent.
An uncharacteristically gritty, but catchy slow jam from D'Angelo called Devil's Pie.
A characteristically zany song by Wu-Tang with verses from RZA (who also provided the distinctive beat) and Ghostface, and a wild, screaming O.D.B. on the chorus called Windpipe.
Crew Love, a vintage Roc-a-fella jam with Jay-Z (don't you wish he still sounded like this?), Beanie Seigel and Memphis Bleak.
A song called "Tommy's Theme" with the LOX and some clowns called Made Men. Styles, Jada and Sheek (yes, in that particular order) kill it like always, but Made Men are awful and I always skip to the next song when their verse starts.
A Gangstarr classic in Militia, remixed. (DJ Premier is far and away superior to any faggy producer making beats today.)
There are a bunch of other decent tracks from the likes of Mya, NORE (when he was still called Noreaga), Raekwon, and Ja Rule.

2. Friday
Again, one of my favorite movies of all time. The soundtrack is a little more eclectic than Belly's. Mainly, though, it is west-coast gangster shit with a sprinkling of funk, and classic R&B. Many of these songs are so iconic and perfectly chosen that anytime I hear them on the radio or something an image of corresponding scene instantly appears in my mind:
Tryin' to See Another Day - Isley Brothers: Opening scene, camera pans over the faces of the Jones' as they sleep in their respective beds. My favorite part is the fact that Craig's sister sleeps with her head propped up on her elbow to keep here hair style intact.
Keep Their Heads Ringin'- Dr. Dre: Craig and Smokey pull up to the bodega in Smokey's hooptie(his license plate is FCK IT or something like that).
Mary Jane- Rick James: Just thinking about this song and this scene in the movie makes me smile. Best pot smoking montage ever.
Hoochie Mama - 2 Live Crew: Plays pretty much anytime Craig's girlfriend appears. (Also, plays in my mind about 34.7% of the time when I see my girl's car pull up.)
Some other of the other jams on the soundtrack are from Cypress Hill, Mack 10, Bootsie Collins, Tha Alkaholiks, and Scarface.

3. Rush Hour Soundtrack
Unlike the previous two soundtracks, for the most part the songs on the Rush Hour CD do not correspond with particular scenes in the movie. Or at least I don't think they do. Also, this CD is a little more mainstream and "poppy" than the others. Like the Belly soundtrack, this album was put together by Def Jam. Highlights include:
A bunch of audio snippets of Chris Tucker. (Weird coincidence that CT is stars in 2 of the three movies on the list.) You know, stuff like "Don't Ever Touch a Black Man's Radio" and "Cigaweed".
Dru Hill - How Deep is Your Love: This song reminds you that at one point in the not too distant past Dru Hill and Sisqo were actually making hits and were not always just the butt of jokes. This song is made even better by a Redman verse.
Ja Rule - Bitch Better Have My Money: File this under the "forgot they were ever good category" as well. Before Ashanti, Ja Rule actually had a few bangers. He was also pretty awesome as a member of The Murderers. Not the most creative group name ever.
Wu-Tang Clan - And You Don't Stop: Classic O.D.B, standard RZA beat, excellent chorus (which is surprising because Wu-Tang, particularly after 36 Chambers, did a large percentage of their songs sans-chorus).
Honorable Mentions for other good contributors: Slick Rick - Impress The Kid, Montell Jordan - If I Die Tonight, Terror Squad - Terror Squadians, Too $hort - Tell The Feds,and Jay-Z - Can I Get A.

Modern Family is really funny. You should watch it.

Modern Family is the kind of special little show that makes sitting through all of the normal network TV dreck worth it. It isn't over the top, or in your face, or obscene; it is just charming, funny, and it makes you feel good when you watch. All of the characters, with the possible exception of Claire, are extremely likable. (It is sort of strange that I have found her to be pretty cold; the actress that plays her, Julie Bowen, was extremely sweet and sympathetic as Carol in, another understated, feel-good network comedy, Ed. Also, FYI, she is from Baltimore.)

I'm glad the writers have kind of moved away from the hip lingo shtick with Phil. If they had kept up the "keepin' it reals" with the same intensity as was present in the first couple episodes that well would certainly be dry by now. Thankfully, they have shifted the focus of Phil's jokes mainly to his semi-obvious, semi-creepy infatuation with Gloria, his step-mother-in-law.

Ed O'Neil is perfect in his role as old-fashioned, stuck in his ways, grouch who turns out, when pushed and prodded, to be pretty accepting. Despite his stubbornness, he is the glue that keeps the family together. After all, this show isn't about Phil's parents or siblings, or Cam's or Gloria's.

I like the choice the writers have made to let the viewer into the family details and back story incrementally and naturally. In each episode we get a new nugget that provides insight into who these characters are and how they ended up as a "family". This week's was that Cam, the big flamboyantly gay guy, was a standout division one offensive lineman in college and like Ed O'Neil's Jay, a big Fighting Illini fan. I hope in future episodes they give us a glimpse into how Jay and Gloria ended up getting together (sort of like the "Casablanca" bit last week with Cam and Mitchell). How does an balding, slightly overweight, at least semi-biggoted, old geezer end up marrying a fiery, young latina?

Lets just hope this show last long enough for us to find out. Unfortunately, it is promising, new shows like this that networks always seem to pull the plug on after a season; and yet somehow Big Bang Theory has been on for what seems like decades.

Sons of Anarchy goes Oz

First of all, how cool did SAMCRO look in those orange prison uniforms?

Some thoughts on the episode:

I was kinda hoping that the black dudes would wait until Dante (I think that was their target's name) had his johnson in or around Juice's mouth before bursting in. But, I guess that would have been a little too much for basic cable.

I was really liking the tension built through the heroes' incarceration. I think that they resolved the situation with their bail a little too soon; I would have liked to see the crew sweat it out in jail for at least the entire episode.

I was really pleased that the writers brought back some elements and characters from past seasons with this episode, particularly the reappearance of Agent Stahl. I hope she is back for good. Maybe her guilt over her involvement in Donna's murder will encourage her to help SAMCRO's crusade against the Nazi's in some way. I think Agent Stahl might be a reader of this blog; she agrees with me that maybe SAMCRO should get out of the gun running business. Jax should heed that advice. I am sensing that she and Jax might eventually join forces against Clay.

Speaking of Jax and Clay, I half-expected the two to hug-it-out after their wild prison fracas. (By the way, Jax's face wasn't nearly mangled enough after that fight. He would have definetly needed some reconstructive surgery. Also, if he was smart, he would have gotten in that fight before going to prison, he is way too pretty for jail.)

What do you think about the significance of Jax bringing up the Cohen situation? It seemed like kind of a throw-away line initially, but Stahl's stunned reaction made it seem pretty important. Pretty stupid thing for Jax to say to her, right?

Check back tomorrow for thoughts on Modern Family and whatever else I feel like putting up.

Letters to the Ravens

Dear Ray, Ed, T-Sizzle, Kelly Gregg, Jared Johnson and any other defensive player that his been with the team for awhile,
Do you guys remember what it used to be like for the Ravens? Back in the days of Boller and Billick. Back in the days when all you would ask is that the offense score at least 10 points. Now the offense puts up tons of points and the D can't get a stop when it matters. No more forcing timely turnovers, no more confidence that the D will come through when it really matters. What happened, guys? Did the departure of Bart, Rex and Jim Leonhard hurt the unit as much as it appears? Pull it together, use this bye week to do some soul searching and decide what kind of defensive unit you want to be, one that thrives on its past reputation or one that has an identity of its own.

Dear Chris Carr and Frank Walker,
You guys are way out of your league. You do not deserve to be out on the field on Sundays. Carr, on kick-offs and punts, you field the ball (if we are lucky) and run directly into the arms of the opposing tacklers. And god-forbid if you are inserted into the defensive secondary. Walker, you are just plain not good enough. You get burned repeatedly every game, you can't cover and your tackling leaves much to be desired. You should give half of your game check to Chris McAllister for being such a drunk and a loose cannon and burning every bridge here in Baltimore.

Dear Greg Mattison,
How did you get the job as the leader of one of the most innovative and feared defensive units in all of football with little to no NFL coaching experience? I know you are close Harbough family friend, but did you walk in on Jim and John practicing french kissing on each other as kids or something?

Dear Joe Flacco,
Thank you for the gutty performance yesterday. You went head to head with Brett Favre and didn't blink. Your expression, or lack thereof, on the sideline when Hauska missed the game winning kick said it all. You know you did all you could to win, your defense and kicker let you down.

Steve Hauska,
You better thank your lucky stars that Adam Vinatieri went down for 4 to 8 weeks. If he hadn't and Matt Stover was still sitting at home on his couch, you would be out of a job. Kill yourself.

Anita Marks in Playboy

*Warning: Link is NSFW*
By no means is this breaking news and it might even be fairly common knowledge, but I just found out about it, so I figured I share. Apparently, sports talk radio personality (and complete moron) Anita Marks posed for nude for a 2002 spread in Playboy. I discovered this because on his weekly radio show, Terrell Suggs responded to a barb from Marks in regards to his handsome contract with the Ravens with a retort about the amount of money she received from Hugh Hefner. It immediately got turned uncomfortable and Marks was noticeably offended. So I looked it up and came across this. Enjoy (well, maybe that isn't the right word).