Dudder Island: Shutter Island Reviewed, Spoiled and Improved

So I went and saw Shutter Island yesterday despite having read a slew of less than complimentary reviews. After seeing it, I tend to agree with most of the criticism, although I think a lot of the shots critics have been taking at Leo in regards to his accent and his overacting are harsh and a bit unwarranted.

The performances in the movie were good, if not great. Leo is a serviceable leading man, but Scorcese's recent obsession with him is becoming a little strange. He is just too soft and lacks the hint of craziness in his eyes required to be one-hundred percent believable as an undercover-cop/Irish gangster or a WWII veteran/U.S. Marshall with issues with headaches and paranoia. What's weird is, he actually used to have that quality. If you go back and watch Basketball Diaries, he was pretty damn convincing as a strung out dope-fiend. Does anyone think he would be able to pull that role off now? Ben Kingsley was solid as usual, as was Mark Ruffalo. We even got a few scenes with Ted Levine, the dude who played Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs. A cameo from Jame Gumb is always a welcome treat. Really, the only performance I have an issue with was Michelle Williams', who plays Leo's late wife. If you thought Leo's attempt at a Boston accent was hard to listen to, wait until you hear Jen from Dawson's Creek do her Will Hunting impression.

Along with the decent performances, the movie succeeded, for the most part, in creating a sense of suspense throughout most of the first two acts. The score was a bit heavy handed at times, but to put up much of a complaint about that would be nit-picking. The setting of the actual island was pretty cool and worked well in terms of creating the creepy vibe Scorsese was aiming for.

Where the film failed was in the plot department. I won't go into specifics right now, because any description of the plot, beyond the very basics would spoil the ending. For those of you that have not seen the movie, it is basically about two U.S. Marshals (Leo and Ruffalo) who are sent to an island off the coast of Boston which is home to a mysterious mental institution for the criminally insane to investigate the disappearance of one of the inmates. For those of you who have seen the movie and would like my take on how the plot could have been made infinitely cooler, please continue reading. If you haven't seen the movie and do not want the ending spoiled for you, please stop reading now.

BIG-TIME SPOILER ALERTS AHEAD!

Ok, so if you have seen the movie, then you know that Leo is, in fact, crazy and has been a patient/prisoner of the institution since he murdered his wife. Actually, calling what Leo did to his wife murder is a bit of a stretch. He shot her after coming home and finding out that she had drowned their three children. In order to cope with the trauma, Leo invents a complex scenario in his head that his wife died in a fire and the reason that he is on Shutter Island is for the purpose of an investigation. In order to try to snap him out of his delusion, Ben Kingsley, the institutions head doctor decides to set up a scenario in which Leo gets to role play his entire fantasy. Mark Rufalo, who in reality is his psychiatrist, is cast as his U.S. Marshal partner. Eventually Leo is filled in about the details of this plan and, for a moment, remembers the truth about his circumstances. However, at the end he relapses back into his fantasy world and it is suggested that he goes on to be lobotomized... If that sounded a tad convoluted and difficult to follow, it is because it sort of was.

Here is my idea for how Shutter Island could have been way better:

Scorsese should have taken the Sixth Sense approach to this plot. Instead of having Kingsley actually create this investigation farce, the entire story should have taken place in Leo's head. That way at the end, when it is revealed that he is actually insane (much like it was revealed that Bruce Willis was indeed dead) people would be blown away and want to watch the movie over again to look for clues throughout movie that would indicate what was really going on. I realize that this would require some minor tweaks to the story and dialog, but I think it could have been done and if it had been done Shutter Island could have been an extremely cool mindfuck of a movie.

Paul Feig and Judd Apatow are back together. That should be a good thing, right?

Busy news day for the staff here at The 'Feeling. Not only has the site's favorite pigskin team made a big announcement, our favorite television writer/producer duo has dropped a bombshell as well.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Paul Feig and Judd Apatow are again joining forces. This time they are apparently in the process of making a wedding-comedy starring Kristen Wiig. The screenplay was written by some broad named Annie Mumolo, whose biggest achievement, according to her IMDB, was a bit part on Two and Half Men.

Is it just me, or does this sound fucking awful? As evidenced by this website's title banner, I am a huge Feig/Apatow guy, so I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, but....seriously? A wedding comedy with Kristen Wiig written by a virtual nobody?
Needless to say, I'm worried.

Ravens sign Wide Receiver and Homocidal Maniac Donte' Stallworth

What?! You mean you didn't know that The Unfresh Feeling is the place to go for breaking sports news? Shame on you.

So, our beloved Baltimore Ravens have started the off-season with a bang by signing controversial wide-receiver Donte' Stallworth to a one-year deal. The local sports talk radio circuits have been abuzz with conflicting opinions in regards to whether or not this was a positive move by the club. Rest assured disciples of the purple and black, it was a good move...as long as it isn't their only move.

Clearly, the biggest issue detractors of the deal are pointing to is Stallworth's vehicular manslaughter charge. They figure that this is another typical Ravens move, bringing in a criminal and a thug. Unlike the cases involving Ray and Jamal (both of which I thought were bullshit, particularly Jamal's), Stallworth's case was an accident. Yes, an accident that left a man dead, but an accident none the less. Does anyone really believe that while Stallworth was at the club popping bottles of Ace of Spade, he was doing so knowing that on the drive home some Mexican dude was going to dart out from behind a bush into the middle of the street and directly unto the hood of his luxury sports car? Of course not. Should he have been drinking and driving? Again, of course not. But is he a murderer? I don't think so. Since the incident Stallworth has been nothing but contrite and apologetic. I mean, if he wanted to be a dick, he could have gone to trial, dragged it out for a year and probably had the manslaughter charges dropped. The dude he hit ran out into the middle of a highway for chrissakes. Instead he accepted his plea deal and paid the family of the "victim" several million bucks. As long as Stallworth produces on the field, by week 4, most Ravens fans (who aren't members of MADD) will have forgiven him.

Having dealt with that, here are the pros and cons of the deal in football terms:

Pros:

The Ravens got Stallworth on the cheap. He signed a one-year deal for under a million dollars. So, the Ravens got a legitimate offensive threat with very little damage to their salary cap, leaving room for additional deals this offseason. If he doesn't produce or gets in any more off the field trouble the Ravens can jettison him from the roster with minimal consequences.

Stallworth is a good player, or at least he was. The guy has 32 career touchdowns. Compare that with Mark Clayton's 14. If Stallworth can stretch the field and force the opponent's best cover corner to guard him, that will free Derrick Mason (if he decides to return) to dominate lesser defenders over the middle.

Cons:

The obvious PR ramifications of signing another player with a less than stellar police record.

We don't really know what kind of production we will get from him. He didn't play at all last season and even before his suspension he was never an elite playmaker.

This may give Ozzie an excuse to sit on his hands for the rest of the off-season and not try to bring in another big play offensive threat.


All in all, I think the pros certainly outweigh the cons. I like the move, but I just hope this is a first in a string of pick-ups the team makes before the start of the 2010 season.

Netflix Instant Watch Review of "4 Life"

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you another installment of the Unfresh Feeling's ongoing series of Netflix Instant Queue reviews. For the newbies out there, these postings are a service I provide to you where I choose an obscure movie (often either foreign, independent or straight-to-DVD) and basically tell you how fucked up you would have to be to enjoy it.

This week's movie is called 4 Life, a gangsta flick set in Baltimore. The plot (a word used very generously in this case) is about a feud between the two shot callers of a drug gang (I assume they are involved with drug sales, but the movie doesn't actually show any drugs nor does it make any direct reference to the source of the gang's income) called Dogs 4 Life (some of the characters pronounce is 'Duggs' for Life, which is funny to me because I live in Baltimore, but probably just confused viewers outside the 410 area code).

The reason I decided to watch this movie, aside from the fact that it is set in my hometown, is because it stars several veterans of The Wire. (Aside from sharing several of the same actors, 4 Life features plenty of those obligatory wide angle, panning west to east, transitional shots of the inner harbor and downtown skyline that cut to gritty Westside street corners that David Simon's team perfected. In 4 Life they just look low rent.) Wood Harris, who, so adeptly, played Avon Barksdale in The Wire portrays Davon in 4 Life. Davon wants to get out of the game, but his incarcerated partner Ty, played by Page Kennedy (most famous from his role as U-Turn on Weeds), won't let him for reasons that are very unclear. When Ty makes a preemptive strike against Davon from prison, Davon enlists the help of J.D. Williams, Bodie from The Wire, to exact revenge.

Unfortunately, casting alone could not save this piece of crap. The plot makes no sense, the characters are flat and when they start dying it is unclear how the viewer should feel about it. The dialog is terrible, which is the most disappointing thing of all. Typically, in these "urban" genre movies you can at least count on some hilarious dialog. Think the "Pen Gun Scene" from Thicker Than Water or the "What Hand You Roll Up Wit' Scene" from State Property or pretty much any scene from the hood classic Choices. The only relatively funny line is when Ty vents to his cellmate about Davon, complaining that Davon "aint from the block, the nigga is from Randallstown!" which is funny to me, but probably not anyone who has never heard of Randallstown (which is pretty much everyone not from Maryland).

Final Verdict:
From just looking the cast, the synopsis and the picture of the movie shown on Netflix, choosing to watch this movie is a no-brainer. I would decided to watch it sober. Actually enjoying the movie once it starts is a whole other story. To enjoy 4 Life, you need something a little stronger than the normal chronic and alcohol combination I typically recommend. To make it through this movie, I suggest at least 30 mils of an opioid painkiller or like 2 or 3 Ambien.