Anyone got $2500 I can borrow?

This might be a tad blasphemous but I am going to say it anyway. Marlo was one of my least favorite characters on The Wire (mainly because he just wasn't as charismatic as Avon or String). However, Jamie Hector, the actor who portrayed the up and coming Westside kingpin, may be my new favorite human being.

Somebody get Oslo on the phone, I would like to nominate Jamie for the Nobel Peace Prize...ok, an NAACP Image Award is might be more do-able, but fuck it, shoot for the stars right? This American hero is putting together an event to benefit his non-profit organization, Moving Mountains, called "The Streets Vs. Law: Paintball Tournament 2010". On this Saturday, for the paltry sum of $2500 (for the VIP package), you and a group of friends can exchange gun-fire with some of your favorite characters from The Wire, including Omar, Snoop, Slim Charles, Carver, and Kima. All I can say is that I am in the process of trying to sell a kidney or testicle to finance my ticket to this tournament.


In preparation for the event I went to the sporting goods store in search of a paintball gun. The sales person sold me on what he called "the Cadillac of paintball guns". He meant Lexus, but he ain't know. I paid him with a wad of hundreds in the aisle of the store. He certainly earned that bump like a muh'fucker.


My plan is to show up to the event dressed in a black suit with a bow-tie and demand to be teamed up with Michael K. Williams, although I will probably have to wait in line behind a bunch of gay, Hispanic gentlemen.


I have but two bones to pick with this otherwise glorious event:
The event is in New York, not Baltimore. What gives, Marlo?
It doesn't appear that the guy who played Rawls is participating. I would empty my bank account for the chance to throw a few hot ones at his punk ass.

Here is a link to the the event's website.

"Murder is not part of your 12 Step Program."

It's been a hell of a week, so I will spare everyone a full review/recap of the episode. Instead, I offer a quick list of pros and cons on the episode and the direction the show is taking.

Things I liked:

The opening montage with Meth-Mouth Wendy blowing a precession of guys. As gay as it sounds, the Association's "Windy" always puts me in a good mood.

Skylar researching money laundering on Wikipedia.

Mike The Cleaner's "Half-measures" monologue. This scene is a testament to the show's greatness. Even a bit player in the series is able to deliver an astonishingly captivating performance if called upon.

Marie's bet with Hank.

The scene with both Walts watching Jeopardy together. As a kid I watched countless hours of the game-show with my dad, each of us trying to shout out the answer (or question, in this case) before the other.

Jesse getting high again. It seems that every great drama features a character that battles a substance problem and when the character falls of the wagon it is a cue to the audience that shit is about to hit the fan. Think Chrissy (Sopranos), McNulty (The Wire), Tommy (Rescue Me).

The most gruesomely bad-ass vehicular homicide committed to film. You got the guy flying ass-over-elbows into the air as well as the guy mangled in under the tires. I guess Walt is going to need yet another new windshield.

Things I didn't like so much:

This season has been a bit ADD in regards to the plots. Case and point: The Cousins. They arrived on the scene with a bang and everyone anticipated that as the season unfolded they would get closer and closer to Walt, leading to a late-season show down. Instead, they arrived at Walt's doorstep just an episode or two later and their entire story was wrapped up mid-season. Also, they brought back Combo's murder and the ramifications of it up out of nowhere. Don't get me wrong, I love tie-ins to prior seasons, but these two street level dealers that Jesse and Walt are faced with are nowhere near as cool as the Cousins.

As intense as the sit-down between Gus, Walt, Jesse and the two dealers was, I just wasn't buying it. Gus is a smart guy and the head of a multi-state, multi-million dollar drug empire. If The Wire has taught us anything it is that the top guys in a drug organization would never, ever be caught in the same room as the street level dealers.

Breaking Bad - Sunset

Season 3 of Breaking Bad has a little bit in common with Season 2 of The Wire (which is fresh on my mind because I am in the middle of Wire binge in order to school my girlfriend on one of the top three greatest television shows in the history of the medium). The beginnings of both seasons are relatively slow and full of dense subtext. The purpose of the first half of the seasons is mainly getting the gang back together. In other words, retying loose ends that inevitably fray at the end of prior seasons. In the case of The Wire, it takes 6 or 7 episodes for Daniels to reassemble the old crew to take a run at Sobotka. In Breaking Bad, it is all about getting Walt cooking again and reuniting him with Jesse. In seasons like these, there are always breaking (Bad) points when the set up is done, the gang is back together and the ball starts rolling down hill, fast. In the case of season 2 of The Wire, it was the episode where Stringer has D'Angelo killed in Jessup. For Breaking Bad, the episode that sparks the wild ride towards the finish line was last night's.

Walt and Skylar are going forward with their divorce, which Walt seems to think is a result of Skylar's "unhappiness" and not his "meth-cookingness". To make their separation more official, an unusually upbeat and optimistic Walt decides to get his own apartment. He demands to rent the model apartment and when the agent balks, Walt asks him to "name one thing that is not negotiable". In a clever piece of direction, Gillian and company cut right to a shot of El Pollo, hammering home the point that Walt knows all too well that everything is negotiable. He just doesn't realize that Fring has outmaneuvered him beautifully in their negotiation last episode. Coming into this week, a lot of people were predicting that Gus was planning to use the three months of Walt's service to learn his meth-recipe and when he was finished, allow the Cousins to have their way with him.

After this initial Walt/Skylar divorce bit Breaking Bad puts the White's domestic issues on the back burner (thank god) in order to focus on the more pressing subject: Hank is hot on Jesse's trail. Last week I was pining for the old days of B.B., with Jesse and his buddies doing drugs and hustling. Right on cue, we get a scene featuring not only Jesse and Skinny Pete, but my man Badger. Jesse is rallying the troops to hit the streets with his solo-cooked batch of blue meth (he gives Badger a sample so potent it sends him into an impromptu jig, which Jesse puts a quick stop to lest Badger scuff his hardwood floors). Little do they know, Hank is right outside doing surveillance in hopes that Jesse will lead him to the RV.

Meanwhile, Walt shows up for his first day at his new job and meets his lab assistant, Neil, who has come prepared with his resume, which I imagine looks something like this:

Education:

Bachelors of Science in Chemical Engineering - University of New Mexico

Masters of Science in Organic Chemistry - Colorado University

Work Experience:

Acme Chemical Corporation - July 2005 - August 2010, Bolder, Colorado
Duties: Boring chemical stuff.

El Norte Division of The Mexican Drug Cartel - September 2010 - December 2010, Multipurpose Laundry Facility Outside Albuquerque, New Mexico
Duties: Assisted in the manufacturing of 200 pounds of high-quality methamphetamine per week for the duration of three months.

The two seem to hit it off and when Walt asks Neil how he ended up in the meth business, he responds with a version of Walt's own "I just respect the chemistry" rationalization (I guess Walt isn't the only one who is a tad delusional). To me, Neil seems too good to be true, I get the feeling that he and Fring might be up to something. We, at The 'Feeling, will continue to monitor the situation.

Things start to move at hyper-speed about 20 minutes in, when Marie reminds Hank of Walt's connection with Jesse (Walt used to buy pot from Jesse). Hoping Walt might have some information about the whereabouts of the RV, Hank gives Walt a call and completely tips his hand. Panicked, Walt calls Jesse to warn him, but hangs up when Jesse answers. Thinking more clearly, he calls Saul instead.

Walt catches up with the RV, Badger is having the oil changed at Jesse's request, and demands to have it destroyed immediately. Seizing the keys, Walt takes the RV to junk yard to have it wiped off the face of the earth, lest the DEA pull a few of his latent prints from its interior. Badger calls Jesse, who predictably assumes that Walt is trying to destroy the RV to take away his ability to cook, therefore eliminating the competition. Jesse races to the junk yard to stop Walt, unwittingly leading Hank right to the RV.

What comes next will go down in Breaking Bad lore as one of the show's defining moments. In an agonizing, sphincter-clenching sequence, Hank approaches the RV with Jesse and Walt inside. The dynamic between the two ex-partners reverts to its natural equilibrium as Jesse desperately turns to Walt for an escape plan. What Walt comes up with is quite possibly his most despicable, yet effective, idea to date.

Walt calls Saul, who in turn has his secretary, impersonating an ER nurse, call Hank and inform him that Marie has been in a car accident. As Hank speeds toward the hospital in a blind panic, Walt and Jesse destroy the RV. But this is just a temporary reprieve. Hank is still onto Jesse and he has to suspect Walt is involved. Can anyone think of a scenario in which Hank does not assume (correctly) that Walt tipped Jesse off and had a hand in the Marie/fake-car-wreck situation? I tried and I can't.

The issue now becomes: Will Hank survive long enough to bring in Jesse and Walt? The episode ends with Gus Fring meeting with the Cousins to bargain for Walt's life. In exchange for Walt, Fring greenlights Hank (the man who actually pulled the trigger on Tuco), who had previously been off limits due to his status with DEA. Will Hank be forced to turn to Walt for protection when he realizes who is after him? Will Walt be able to offer said protection? If the Cousins get to Hank, will they be satisfied or will they still want to put a chrome axe into Walt's ass? These are the questions that will be answered in the next few episodes and I can't fucking wait.

David Simon's New Show Treme Debuts on HBO

To say David Simon's new HBO show, Treme, is about music would be like saying his old HBO show, The Wire, is about drugs. You would be correct to say so, but you would be leaving out much of the show's essence. Treme is about the city and people of New Orleans as much as it is about anything. And if it is about anything, it is about everything. Simon has a real talent for using micro-level story telling, to make macro-level observations. In The Wire, he used the stories of alcoholic cops, gay stick-up artists, dope fiends, corner boys, drug kingpins and political aspirants to paint a picture of an American city in decay. In Treme, the stories of dead-beat musicians, stoned disc jockeys, Mardi Gras Indian chiefs, disenchanted lawyers, and frustrated chefs are combined to paint a picture of a city struggling to rebuild.

Despite the similarities between the underlying social forces that steer the characters' lives (poverty, crime, lack of quality education, gentrification, inequality, political corruption, mistrust of law-enforcement), Treme and The Wire are very different shows. Don't get me wrong, the feeling of "grit" that pervaded The Wire is still present, but the hopelessness and gallows humor are toned down. Fortunately, the trombones and trumpets, and the hope that their sounds inspire, are cranked way up. It is hard to be completely depressed when you have such good music drifting into your open windows from the parade marching down the street.

For all of you Wire die-hards out there who thought that you might be disappointed by Treme, rest assured, you won't be. The show is good, the characters are easy to care about, the setting is dynamic and the acting is top-notch. It isn't preachy or accusatory like Spike Lee's When the Levees Broke, but it also doesn't appear to let anyone off the hook either.

Last night's episode begins with a parade and ends with a funeral. And the only real difference between the two is the tempo at which the band plays. This is the spirit of the city of New Orleans that Simon captures perfectly: no matter what happens, the band plays on.

In the premier episode, we are introduced to seven main characters and slew of people that may turn into main characters:

Wire alum Wendell Pierce (Bunk) plays Antoine, a down-on-his-luck trombonist who has to scam cab drivers for rides to his gigs.

Antoine's ex-wife Ladonna runs a neighborhood bar that serves as a de facto town hall for the remaining residents of Treme.

Ladonna turns to attorney Toni for help finding her brother, who has been missing since the levees broke.

Toni's husband Creighton, played by the always fantastic John Goodman, is some kind of authority on the hurricane who spends most of his scenes doing interviews about Katrina with various media outlets. Thus far, he is my favorite character by a mile. Seeing Goodman in this role makes me wish that Simon had been able to convince him to be in The Wire. He would have been absolutely perfect as Jay Landsman, McNulty's portly, foul-mouthed Sergeant. During an interview with a swarmy BBC reporter he rails against the government, calling the disaster "man made catastrophe, a federal fuck up of epic proportions". When the reporter asks him why the American tax payers should have to foot the bill for reconstruction, Creighton responds with, "Since when don't nations rebuild their great cities?". The guy from the BBC then has the stones to call into question whether New Orleans is indeed a great city, while simultaneously dissing the city's music and culinary traditions. Creighton goes Walter Sobchak on his limey-ass and throws his microphone and camera equipment into the canal. Later, after going on a tirade against the federal government during an NPR phone interview, Creighton fires off an classic zinger, screaming "This ain't Lake Wobegon, god dammit" before slamming the phone down. I slapped my knee repeatedly. Public Radio shtick gets me every time.

Speaking of public radio, Steve Zaun plays the role of Davis, a DJ fed up with having to spin overplayed records for pledge drives. When he isn't smoking bud or breaking into record stores, he is sleeping with Janette, a chef who is struggling to keep her restaurant staffed and stocked with food to due the flooding.

Clark Peters, another veteran of The Wire (Lester), plays Albert, a Mardi Gras Indian chief who returns to the city to find his home completely flooded and mold-ridden. He abandons his house and sets up shop in a corner bar. Can someone please explain to me what a Mardi Gras Indian is? Clark Peters is black, not Native American, so I don't think Mardi Gras Indians are real Indians, right? All I know is he has a wild-ass costume that he throws on to convince a neighbor to help him clean up the bar he is living in.

Netflix Instant Watch Review of "4 Life"

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you another installment of the Unfresh Feeling's ongoing series of Netflix Instant Queue reviews. For the newbies out there, these postings are a service I provide to you where I choose an obscure movie (often either foreign, independent or straight-to-DVD) and basically tell you how fucked up you would have to be to enjoy it.

This week's movie is called 4 Life, a gangsta flick set in Baltimore. The plot (a word used very generously in this case) is about a feud between the two shot callers of a drug gang (I assume they are involved with drug sales, but the movie doesn't actually show any drugs nor does it make any direct reference to the source of the gang's income) called Dogs 4 Life (some of the characters pronounce is 'Duggs' for Life, which is funny to me because I live in Baltimore, but probably just confused viewers outside the 410 area code).

The reason I decided to watch this movie, aside from the fact that it is set in my hometown, is because it stars several veterans of The Wire. (Aside from sharing several of the same actors, 4 Life features plenty of those obligatory wide angle, panning west to east, transitional shots of the inner harbor and downtown skyline that cut to gritty Westside street corners that David Simon's team perfected. In 4 Life they just look low rent.) Wood Harris, who, so adeptly, played Avon Barksdale in The Wire portrays Davon in 4 Life. Davon wants to get out of the game, but his incarcerated partner Ty, played by Page Kennedy (most famous from his role as U-Turn on Weeds), won't let him for reasons that are very unclear. When Ty makes a preemptive strike against Davon from prison, Davon enlists the help of J.D. Williams, Bodie from The Wire, to exact revenge.

Unfortunately, casting alone could not save this piece of crap. The plot makes no sense, the characters are flat and when they start dying it is unclear how the viewer should feel about it. The dialog is terrible, which is the most disappointing thing of all. Typically, in these "urban" genre movies you can at least count on some hilarious dialog. Think the "Pen Gun Scene" from Thicker Than Water or the "What Hand You Roll Up Wit' Scene" from State Property or pretty much any scene from the hood classic Choices. The only relatively funny line is when Ty vents to his cellmate about Davon, complaining that Davon "aint from the block, the nigga is from Randallstown!" which is funny to me, but probably not anyone who has never heard of Randallstown (which is pretty much everyone not from Maryland).

Final Verdict:
From just looking the cast, the synopsis and the picture of the movie shown on Netflix, choosing to watch this movie is a no-brainer. I would decided to watch it sober. Actually enjoying the movie once it starts is a whole other story. To enjoy 4 Life, you need something a little stronger than the normal chronic and alcohol combination I typically recommend. To make it through this movie, I suggest at least 30 mils of an opioid painkiller or like 2 or 3 Ambien.

The Sheild REWATCH Intro

I am off work for the Holidays for a few days, my girlfriend is out of town and pretty much all of the good shows are on hiatus until next year. Perfect timing for me to catch up on some shows that I missed out on when they originally aired. My XBox recently broke and I was unable to watch my Netflix Instant Watch movies and shows, but my girl came through for me and got me a new one for Christmas. When I got onto Netflix, I was pumped to find the last two seasons of The Shield were available for instant viewing.

Before I get to writing about any specific episodes, I would first like take a moment to discuss the show in general. I loved The Sheild when FX introduced it. To me, prior to The Wire premiering, The Shield was the ultimate cop drama. Better than Law and Order, better than NYPD Blue, and certainly better than any of the bullshit CSI spin-offs the networks have been peddling for the past decade. (By the way, I know there has been some confusion over what this past decade will be known as in the future. Will it be called the aughts? The zeros? I suggest calling it The Decade of Shitty Network Crime Dramas with Acronyms In Their Titles. Catchy right?) But for some reason, I stopped watching somewhere in the middle of the sixth season. I can't remember the exact reason, but I suspect it had something to do with The Wire being aired around the same time. My thought process was probably, "If I can watch a cop drama that a. Airs on HBO and allows cursing and nudity, b. Takes place in my fucking backyard, and c. Is arguably the very best show ever to grace a television screen, why would I waste my time with The Shield?"

Looking back, I was wrong to think this way. It is unfair to hold The Shield, or any show for that matter, to the standards set by The Wire. The next spate of postings will be dedicated to analyzing season seven, the final season, of The Shield and will serve to keep my mind nimble as I wait for the new season of shows to start as well as to pay tribute to a great show that, as the show drew to a close, did not garner enough credit from this viewer. I am sorry, The Shield, I hope these posts make up for me abandoning you on your death bed.