Why, Raekwon? Why?

Fucking Mel Gibson...

I am generally a very "live and let live" kind of a guy. I am not a reactionary, easily offended, P.C. moron. I believe that words are just words, not weapons. But sometimes someone says something that is completely unforgivable. And if that person happens to be Mel Gibson, he says multiple things that are unforgivable.I have not watched a single Mel Gibson movie since he made those comments about Jews a couple of years back and I have vowed to never watch one again (this hasn't been difficult considering the handful of shitty projects he has made recently).

I believe wholeheartedly in the fist amendment and I don't think Mel should be punished legally or even have to apologize for those, or any other, remarks. He is the right to say whatever pops into his whacked out brain. However, I have the right to vote with my wallet and never give the man another one of my dollars.

As I'm sure you have heard, there is a new audio recording of Gibson circulating the web.

Click here to take a listen.

Fuck you Mel Gibson. I hope the domestic violence allegations are true and you get sent to the poke. I'm sure the inmates will love your racist tirades, hack.

P.S.
Call me a fag all you want, but I have always contended (and still vehemently contend) that Braveheart isn't even that great.

Here we go again...

In the interest of full disclosure I have to admit that it has been a long time (at least a season and a half) since I have found Entourage to be genuinely funny. That isn't to say that the show sucks or isn't entertaining because it is. However, it is entertaining in the way an episode of Cribs is entertaining. Sure, it's fun to see all the big mansions, sweet rides and hot chicks; I just wish the show made me laugh the way it did for the first couple of seasons. At times last season it got to the point where I started to wish that the show would drop Vince and the guys completely and reboot with Ari representing a new up-and-coming star (although it would be nice if they figured out a way to keep Drama involved somehow). An even better idea would be a buddy-cop show with Ari and Lloyd as partners on a very socially progressive police force (maybe Sawyer and Miles from Lost could co-star).

Unfortunately, the first episode of season seven is not any funnier than seasons five and six were. While watching the episode I kept a running tab of the number of times I smiled, chuckled or laughed. The score card reads as such: Three smiles, one chuckle, ZERO LAUGHS. The lone chuckle came, of course, during a scene with Drama and Lloyd (two of the show's saving graces). Drama visits Lloyd (who is now a full blown agent) for career help, explaining to him, "This is my livelihood, Lloyd. And my dream." Lloyd responds sweetly, "You think I don't know that?" and tenderly grabs Drama's hand. Drama wrenches his hand away with a look of pure disgust on his face. Chuckle-worthy, right? But if this is the funniest scene in an episode of a show that is supposed to be a comedy, there is a problem.

Recapping the plot of the episode is almost an exercise in redundancy. If you are at all familiar with the show, than you already know what happens. Vince has a problem with the director of his current movie so he calls E for help. E can't get the job done so he calls Ari. Ari berates a couple of underlings. Drama is out of work so he goes to Ari for help, but Ari is too busy with running an agency to help. Turtle drives around a lot and embarrassingly strikes out with a chick. Vince has a close call on set, but ends up fine and everyone is happy by the time the ending credits roll. However, the episode did end on a high note with one of my all-time favorite songs, Gangstarr and Inspectah Deck's "Above the Clouds" playing as Mark Wahlberg's name flashed onto the screen.

Am I totally off base for not liking this episode more? What did everyone else think?

"I saved your life, Jesse. Are you going to save mine?"

Season 3 of Breaking Bad goes out with a bang (albeit a someone ambiguous bang), literally. As the screen goes black and the echo of gunfire hangs in the air, we are left to contemplate how Walt and Jesse got to this moment and where they are going from here.

The intro gives us a bit of back story, showing Walt (sporting a full head of hair) and a pregnant Skylar (sporting a full belly of Walter Jr.) house shopping. This scene serves as a sobering reminder of just how "bad" things have "broken" for Walt and his family. As the couple walk through what will become their home, Walt is unimpressed. He wants something bigger, with two more bedrooms. When Skylar reminds him of their budgetary constraints Walt responds, "Why be cautious? We have nowhere to go but up!"

Even in his worst nightmare Young Walt could have never imagined how much trouble Present-day Walt has caused. With the Heisenberg hat squarely on his bald head, Walt meets Gus in the desert to face the music. Although he is hardly negotiating from a position of strength, Walt gives Gus two options: He could kill Walt on the spot and try to track down and kill Jesse, or Walt could get back to cooking and Gus can forget about the whole mess with the murdered drug dealers. Walt prefers the second option and for the time being, Gus seems to agree.

Breaking Bad could just as accurately have been titled Breaking Point. It is a study in what human beings will do when they are backed into a corner, pushed to the limit. If you were diagnosed with terminal cancer, how far would you go to provide for your family? Would you manufacture illegal drugs? What would you do if someone you cared about was in danger? Would you intervene, even if that meant risking your own safety? What if your life was on the line? Could you murder a (relatively) innocent person?

Gale makes a triumphant return as Walt's assistant cook. He is very eager to learn the ins and outs of Walt's process, which raises a red flag. It is clear that it was Gus' intention to have Gale take over after Walt's inevitable death, which so many viewers assumed to be the case all along. Walt, who seems to be one step ahead of Fring a lot lately, assumes correctly that his run as Gus' personal chef is close to an end and conjures up a contingency plan.

That plan, of course, is the murder of Walt's assistant/replacement Gale. Walt knows that Gus cannot afford to have a production stoppage, even a temporary one, so if Gale is out of the picture Walt becomes irreplaceable. Jesse, who unlike Walt, has never taken another man's life, is not very excited about this idea. He suggests that he can go on the run and Walt could go to the Feds for witness protection. "Never the D.E.A.," Walt responds. My guess is that Walt would rather die than cause his family the humiliation that would be the result of a D.E.A. agent's brother-in-law entering witness protection.

The original scheme was for Jesse to find out where Gale lives and then call Walt with the location so Walt can do the actual deed. A wrench is thrown into the plan when Walt is apprehended by Mike the Cleaner and brought to the lab to be "cleaned". In a sad and pathetic sequence Walt pleads for his life and offers to give Jesse up in exchange for a reprieve. Mike seems amenable to this idea and gives Walt his cell phone to call Jesse and arrange a meet. Instead, Walt tells Jesse that he has been captured and that Jesse will have to murder Gale.

As I mentioned before, the final scene of the episode was a bit ambiguous, although show creator Vince Gilligan claims this was completely unintentional. The way the final shot was edited, the viewer is left to question whether or not Gale is dead. This is clearly a mistake in direction and editing and certainly worth grumbling about, however viewers shouldn't use it as an excuse to hate on an otherwise excellent season. The only other thing I didn't love about the finale is the absence of any semblance of closure with the Skylar and Hank story arcs.

The interesting thing about this latest turn of events for Walter is the question of whether, by having Gale killed, has the White character turned even more dark (see what I did there?) or has he started down the path toward redemption?

Ex-Hell's Angel claims FX stole his show idea

According to TMZ, a former Hell's Angel biker is suing FX, claiming the cable channel stole his idea for a show about an "outlaw motorcycle club." Chuck Zito, a biker turned actor, says that he brought the concept for a show (which would eventually become Sons of Anarchy) to FX in 1998. Apparently this guy Zito had a small role on HBO's prison drama Oz, which isn't that surprising. His publicity photo looks like a mug shot you would see on the sex-offender registry.

Zito is asking for more than $5,000,000 in damages from FX for breach of contract.

Sons of Anarchy creator Kurt Sutter fired back in a blog post, denying that Zito had anything to do with the creation of SoA and calling him a "loser" and a "delusional b****". Well, my guess is Zito's lawyers are preparing a defamation of character law suit as we speak.

HBO Releases New Boardwalk Empire Trailer

HBO has just released a new trailer for its upcoming prohibition-era gangster series Boardwalk Empire. We have had a few glimpses at the show previously, but this trailer is the first to include any dialogue or indication of a particular story arc.

Boardwalk Empire, which stars Steve Buscemi as Atlantic City crime-boss Nucky Thompson, is written and produced by Terence Winter, a Sopranos alum, with direction from Martin Scorsese. Both sets of fingerprints are all over this trailer. Apparently, Boardwalk is the most expensive project HBO has ever undertaken (which is surprising, given the expense of Rome), and it shows. The look of the show is very crisp and cool, the costumes and sets look great. Winter's and Scorsese's Atlantic City is both glamorous and dangerous.

Boardwalk Empire makes its debut this fall, so as we get closer expect to see more in-depth trailers hit the web.

Preview Trailer #3

BIG ASS ANNOUNCEMENT!

We at ThatUnfreshFeeling are proud to announce that this blog will now be carried on Examiner.com. To access my page on the Examiner website click here.

This is very big news for me personally, as this is the first time any legitimate publication has shown any interest in this site or its material. I want to thank everyone who visits ThatUnfreshFeeling for helping me make this happen. All of your support is very greatly appreciated.

Now that I have been provided the opportunity of a larger platform, I will need your help more than ever. Here are a few little things you can do help me:

- Visit my page on Examiner.com and click the "Subscribe" button. You will get an email each time something new is posted.

- Tell a friend. I have bosses and shit now, so the more people who read my articles the less likely it is that my editors will think I'm a hack. Use facebook, twitter, tag the URL on a bathroom stall, I don't care. Just help me get the word out.

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Please don't stop visiting ThatUnfreshFeeling. I will continue to post everything I write on here along with some stuff I can't get away with posting on Examiner.com (they have editorial standards, I don't). Thanks again for all of the support!

Anyone got $2500 I can borrow?

This might be a tad blasphemous but I am going to say it anyway. Marlo was one of my least favorite characters on The Wire (mainly because he just wasn't as charismatic as Avon or String). However, Jamie Hector, the actor who portrayed the up and coming Westside kingpin, may be my new favorite human being.

Somebody get Oslo on the phone, I would like to nominate Jamie for the Nobel Peace Prize...ok, an NAACP Image Award is might be more do-able, but fuck it, shoot for the stars right? This American hero is putting together an event to benefit his non-profit organization, Moving Mountains, called "The Streets Vs. Law: Paintball Tournament 2010". On this Saturday, for the paltry sum of $2500 (for the VIP package), you and a group of friends can exchange gun-fire with some of your favorite characters from The Wire, including Omar, Snoop, Slim Charles, Carver, and Kima. All I can say is that I am in the process of trying to sell a kidney or testicle to finance my ticket to this tournament.


In preparation for the event I went to the sporting goods store in search of a paintball gun. The sales person sold me on what he called "the Cadillac of paintball guns". He meant Lexus, but he ain't know. I paid him with a wad of hundreds in the aisle of the store. He certainly earned that bump like a muh'fucker.


My plan is to show up to the event dressed in a black suit with a bow-tie and demand to be teamed up with Michael K. Williams, although I will probably have to wait in line behind a bunch of gay, Hispanic gentlemen.


I have but two bones to pick with this otherwise glorious event:
The event is in New York, not Baltimore. What gives, Marlo?
It doesn't appear that the guy who played Rawls is participating. I would empty my bank account for the chance to throw a few hot ones at his punk ass.

Here is a link to the the event's website.

"Hey look, its Cameron from Ferris Bueller!"

Last night was the first installment of NBC's Persons Unknown. The network is calling this show a summer-long mini-series, but it seems more like a summer-long tryout. The series is 13 episodes long, the typical number of episodes for cable series and a tad too many for your average mini-series.

Persons Unknown is a classic example of a show with a very cool premise but sub-par execution. I was instantly reminded of the movie Cube, but the show also has a bit of a Saw vibe as well. The idea behind the show is cool, if not completely original, the set pieces look great, but unfortunately the acting, direction and writing leave quite a bit to be desired.

The plot is a pretty straight forward mystery, kind of Hitchcock meets Clue. A handful of strangers from different walks of life with (seemingly) nothing in common are kidnapped and wake up in strange hotel rooms. Upon breaking out of the rooms and encountering their fellow hostages they group discovers that they are being held captive in an old fashioned ghost town which looks a lot like a studio back lot (in a cool way), complete with sheriff's department, general store (empty), Chinese restaurant and clothing store, all surrounded by omniscient, black-domed security cameras (it seems like every other shot is through the vantage point of these cameras, which gets pretty distracting). Two of the hostages atempt to make a run for it, only to discover that they are carrying around biometric implants that administer a dose of tranquilizer when they cross the invisible boundary around the perimeter of the town.

A wrinkle is thrown into the plot with a story line involving a reporter who gets his hands on a security tape of one of the hostages being kidnapped which leads to a weird interview with the hostages bizarre (possibly involved with the kidnappings?) mother. This plot device doesn't work very well and takes the viewer out of the very cool world of the ghost-town and back to the not-so-interesting real world. Clearly, these scenes will serve a purpose down the line, but they are pretty boring none the less.


Aside from the problems with the acting and the script, I had a bit of an issue with the way that NBC is marketing this show. The tag-line of Persons Unknown is "By the end of this summer, All questions will be answered", which sort of positions the show as the anti-Lost. NBC is basically saying to their audience, "Were you disappointed by Lost? Do you like mysteries that take place in interesting settings? Yes? Well, then do we have a show for you!" The problem here is that by drawing a parallel between Unknown Persons and Lost, they are setting themselves up for failure. Lost, for all its faults, was a pretty damn great show, with not only an extremely interesting and controversial premise, but above average writing and performances by the actors. Unknown Persons is going to have to offer more than the promise of answers to even sniff Lost's greatness. Not only that, but the show's devotion to moving the plot along and "answering questions" comes at the expense of fleshing out the characters. I worry that by the end of the summer when the all of the answers are in, no one will be left to care about what the questions were. That said, it is the summer season, so what the hell else is on? I'll probably check it out for at least a couple more weeks. You should too.

"Murder is not part of your 12 Step Program."

It's been a hell of a week, so I will spare everyone a full review/recap of the episode. Instead, I offer a quick list of pros and cons on the episode and the direction the show is taking.

Things I liked:

The opening montage with Meth-Mouth Wendy blowing a precession of guys. As gay as it sounds, the Association's "Windy" always puts me in a good mood.

Skylar researching money laundering on Wikipedia.

Mike The Cleaner's "Half-measures" monologue. This scene is a testament to the show's greatness. Even a bit player in the series is able to deliver an astonishingly captivating performance if called upon.

Marie's bet with Hank.

The scene with both Walts watching Jeopardy together. As a kid I watched countless hours of the game-show with my dad, each of us trying to shout out the answer (or question, in this case) before the other.

Jesse getting high again. It seems that every great drama features a character that battles a substance problem and when the character falls of the wagon it is a cue to the audience that shit is about to hit the fan. Think Chrissy (Sopranos), McNulty (The Wire), Tommy (Rescue Me).

The most gruesomely bad-ass vehicular homicide committed to film. You got the guy flying ass-over-elbows into the air as well as the guy mangled in under the tires. I guess Walt is going to need yet another new windshield.

Things I didn't like so much:

This season has been a bit ADD in regards to the plots. Case and point: The Cousins. They arrived on the scene with a bang and everyone anticipated that as the season unfolded they would get closer and closer to Walt, leading to a late-season show down. Instead, they arrived at Walt's doorstep just an episode or two later and their entire story was wrapped up mid-season. Also, they brought back Combo's murder and the ramifications of it up out of nowhere. Don't get me wrong, I love tie-ins to prior seasons, but these two street level dealers that Jesse and Walt are faced with are nowhere near as cool as the Cousins.

As intense as the sit-down between Gus, Walt, Jesse and the two dealers was, I just wasn't buying it. Gus is a smart guy and the head of a multi-state, multi-million dollar drug empire. If The Wire has taught us anything it is that the top guys in a drug organization would never, ever be caught in the same room as the street level dealers.

Symbolism, Schmymbolism

"The Fly" is a textbook example of television writers trying to prove that they are smarter than their audience. David Chase did this every so often on The Sopranos, specifically with the dream sequences and coma episodes. These episodes are heavy on the symbolism and light on actual plot. I consider myself to be a pretty bright guy, particularly when it comes t.v. shows, but I struggled mightily to comprehend what I was watching. Clearly something deep was going on, I just couldn't tell exactly what that something was.

This week all of the business with Hank, Marie, Gus, the Cartel, Saul, and Skylar was tabled in favor of a heavy dose of Walt and Jesse at work. The entire episode is spent dealing with a containment in the lab, namely a solitary fly.

Walt is clearly losing it, to the extent that Jesse asks, in all seriousness, whether Walt was sampling their product. Given Walt's behavior in the episode, that seems like a pretty legitimate question. Then Jesse, astutely, suggests that Walt's cancer my have spread to his brain. Walt poo-poo's both of these theories and continues to chase the fly around the lab like a maniac, falling off catwalks, constructing elaborate fly swatters and eventually convincing Jesse to join in the lunacy.

Walt becomes a tab more coherent toward the end of the episode (after Jesse slips some sleeping pills into his coffee) when he admits that he wishes he had died before the cancer went into remission. He laments that his oncologist has given him a clean bill of health and that there is "no end in sight". Things were simpler when he had an actual end game, making enough money to support his family after his imminent death. "I've lived too long, you want them to actually miss you," he tells Jesse, in reference to Skylar and his kids.

While I certainly didn't completely "get" this episode, I have to give the show props for making a silly "fly chase" ultra-suspenseful. The best example is toward the end when Jesse is teetering on a ladder stacked on-top of cabinets with wheels trying to kill the fly. Walt is struggling to stay awake while holding the ladder steady and babbling about Jane. Is Jesse going to slip? Is Walt going to let go of the ladder? Is Walt going to spill the beans about Jane's death? None of these happen, but for a second or two they all seem possible, which is how suspense is supposed to make you feel.

So what the hell does the fly represent? Comments with ideas and guesses would be much appreciated.

"One taste and you'll know..."

Breaking Bad utilizes the first minute of each episode better than any show on TV right now. The flashbacks and little vignettes that air before the opening credits do an amazing job at showing (not telling) the audience details about the world in which these character's operate. This season alone we have been treated to nuggets like the origin of the infamous RV, the Cousins as kids in Mexico, and of course this week's awesome Pollos Hermanos commercial (more on this later). The second great success of the week is the show's uncanny ability to provide game-changing plot development and extreme power-shifts through simple conversations between people. The two conversations I am referring to this week (between Walt and Gus and between Skylar, Marie and Walt) were every bit as intense as any shoot out or car chase could hope to be.

I, like most television viewers, cannot stand commercials. That said, how sweet was the Pollos commercial the show opened with? Not only did the opening sequence give us a (most likely bullshit) story about the humble beginnings of the restaurant, but also a detailed look into the logistics of Gus Fring's less legitimate business operation. In a tight, concise pseudo-montage we get a look how the meth is cooked (Walt and Jesse toiling in the lab), processed (using a system so sophisticated it makes Nino Brown's crack factory look like Namond's bedroom-bagging-operation), packaged (in Pollos fry batter buckets which are stamped with black light ink to make them identifiable) and shipped (using Pollos delivery trucks) to the various Pollos Hermanos franchise locations that make up Fring's territory.



Sometimes, with all of the idiotic and naive things that he does and says, it is easy to forget just how smart Walt really is. He reminds us this week when he calls a sit down with Gus to clear the air. Walt has put together the pieces of Gus' master plan to separate himself and his operation from the Cartel. During this scene Walt is extremely calm, speaking softly and slowly, while Gus quietly listens, which makes the whole thing feel even more tense. In one of the most jarring pieces of dialog, Walt says to Fring, "I know I owe you my life, and more than that, I respect the strategy. In your position, I would have done the same." The respect seems to be mutual, as Fring appears impressed that Walt has figured everything out. Then, in a moment that secures this episode's place in the pantheon of great hours of television, Walt asks the question that everyone on the blogs and message boards have been debating all season; What happens once the three month contract is up? The consensus was that Fring would use Walt for his formula and then get rid of him once the three months had passed. Not so fast, internet TV geeks. Gus does the unthinkable; he offers Walt an open ended contract worth $15,000,000 per year. Isn't it amazing how Walt vacillates between totally clueless and completely razor sharp?


I think we are witnessing the beginning of the end for my boy Jesse. I don't know if he is extremely greed, just plain dumb, or some combination of both. He has done some figuring of his own and calculated that the value of the product he and Walt are cooking is in the neighborhood of $96,000,000. He is unsatisfied with his $1.5 million cut and claims that he and Walt are getting "fisted". Walt responds with, "You are now a millionaire, and you're complaining? What world are you living in?" Sick of being everyone's bitch, Jesse decided to skim some of the blue meth from the lab and sell it on the side with Badger and Skinny Pete. Evil Jesse (the guy that convinced an innocent teen to accept a bag of meth in exchange for a tank of gas) returns as he starts to advertise his product in his NA meetings. This can only end badly for Jesse. It is only a matter of time until Gus finds out what he is up to and puts a quick, violent end to it.



The episode ends with yet another classic scene. With Hank's medical bills piling up and insurance balking, Skylar offers a solution. She explains to Marie, with Walt sitting idly by, that Walt has made a small fortune playing black jack and that they would be glad to finance Hank's recovery. She seems to have genuinely come to grips with the motivation behind Walt's criminality, which would make sense given the warmer treatment she has been giving him since last week. All of that is shattered in the final moments, when Walt tries to congratulate her on the great display of bullshitting he had just witnessed. Skylar calmly, and coldly tells Walt that she suspects that he is the reason that Hank is in the hospital and she will never forget that.




Leftovers:
I got a strong Bubs vibe when Jesse was telling the story in NA about when he traded a box he built for an ounce of weed. By the way, who wouldn't trade a lame-ass box for a fat sack?

How funny was it when Jesse referred to his job as "totally corporate"?

Hank was pumping that morphine button pretty hard. I smell an opiate addiction in someone's future.

Saul's money-laundering lesson with q-tips and cotton balls was very informative. Does anyone on TV do more with less screen time than Bob Odenkirk on this show?

The final thing I have written down in my notes about this episode is "Best episode of the season". I still feel that way

Who's up for a rousing game of Truth or Claire?

I haven't written about Modern Family in awhile because I have already made my feelings about the show pretty clear (I love it) and it is kind of tough to write an entire column every week about a half-hour sitcom. But last night's episode, "Hawaii", was too good not to talk about, if for no other reason than to rehash some of the awesome zingers.

This episode was the second in a three-part season finale dealing with the family going on vacation to Hawaii for Jay's birthday. Generally, I hate these "The Gang Goes on Vacation, Check Out These Fish Out of Water"-type episodes, but the Modern Family writers have proven that they are smart enough to avoid making these episodes feel hackneyed.

"Hawaii" followed the typical "3 main stories, with a couple of peripheral stories" format that works so well on this show. The first story involves Phil and Claire (a.k.a the prettiest white woman on Maui), who get a chance to have the honeymoon they never got when they got married because Claire was pregnant with Hailey ("My bad!!!"). Phil, of course, is more into the whole thing than Claire is. She claims that she is "a mom traveling with three children, this is not a vacation, this is a business trip". Undeterred, as always, Phil attempts to carry her across the threshold (a.k.a. the hotel lobby) but can only lift her about halfway. "God, you're solid," Phil gasps. Great line.

For me, the best part of this episode were the scenes with Manny and Luke, who are forced to share a hotel room. I absolutely love these two characters together. ABC should consider lending them out to the Disney Channel for a Suite Life With Zach and Cody-esque spin off where Manny and Luke are sent away to boarding school together. You know you would watch that. Luke breaks in the hotel room by jumping on the beds, Manny inspects the closets ("Score, there's an iron in here!" An iron that Luke ends up making prison-style grilled cheese sandwiches with). While Manny unpacks his linen jacket and fedora, Luke throws a shower cap over his face and arms himself with a hotel hairdryer, transforming into a "Bathroom Martian from the Nebula of the Great Toilet". Classic. Later, Luke complains to his family that, "Manny is the worst roommate ever, everything he finds, he folds. Last night we had a fire drill. Not the hotel, just us."

Jay is dealing with a reminder from his brother than their father died when he was Jay's age, 63, by abandoning his plans of relaxation and indulgence in favor a commitment to get back in shape. This leads to a couple of decent sight gags involving Jay pulling his back out and getting stuck in a hammock with Phil.

Meanwhile, Cam and Mitchell take relaxation a bit too far, losing Lily, not once but twice. The first time in the hotel and the second time at a banana plantation. This was probably the weakest of the stories, but it did lead to the best line of the night. Panicked, Mitchell questions Cam's wardrobe choice for Lily, "Why did you dress her in jungle print?! She's going to think she is back in Vietnam!" I nearly spit out my Natty Boh. I love it when they make jokes about Lily's Asain roots, like when Jay calls her his "little potsticker" early on in the season.

Taking advantage of the lack of parental supervision, Hailey gets drunk and ends up sick in the hotel bathroom. Claire warns her, "One minute you're having wine coolers and the next minute the game Truth or Claire sweeps your high school." Damn, that sounds like a kick-ass game.

Eventually Phil realizes why he and Claire can't have a true honeymoon; they haven't had a real wedding. In true MF fashion, the episode ends with the whole family coming together for and "awwww" moment. Phil surprises Claire with a ceremony at which they renew their vows while a Hawaiian guy plays a sweet ukulele version of "Eye of The Tiger".

As hilarious as this episode was, the best part of it was getting to see all of the female characters in bathing suits. Here are my grades:
Claire: B-
She appears to have had a boob job awhile ago and they are starting to kind of separate. Not great.
Gloria: B
Pretty nice, but she is working with some seriously large thighs, which isn't necessarily a bad thing but I think I detected a bit of cellulite.
Hailey: A
Although we don't get to see her in a full bathing suit, we get a scene with her in a bikini top. My thoughts on Hailey are already on record so I won't beat dead horse. I probably would have given an A+ but her bathing suit scene happened right after she threw up and was flopped on the bathroom floor. Well, actually now that I think about it, that makes it even hotter: A fucking +.
Alex: A+
Who doesn't enjoy a pre-teen in a bikini? Kidding, kidding, calm down people.

"Tell your douchebag brother-in-law to head towards the light"

This week's Breaking Bad episode followed a similar arc to last week's. Most of the episode was devoted to dealing with the aftermath of the last few minutes of the previous episode, with a spurt of violence coming just before the ending credits. While "I See You" wasn't quite as strong as the few previous eps, it certainly had a few moments of brilliance, which we have come to expect from the show.

First, Walt informs Gale that he will be replaced. Gale responds, rather pathetically with, "I thought things were going well, I thought we were kinda simpatico, ya know?", which sounds like something Doug would say to his wife on Flight of the Conchords if she was to leave him for Bret or Jemaine. We are treated to a series of pretty funny scenes that juxtapose Jesse's excitement with his new gig with Gale's disappointment with his firing.

Walt spends most of the episode in the hospital waiting room (fixing wobbly tables), with Skylar, Marie and Walter Jr. I don't know if is the stress or what, but something strange and subtle starts to happen; Skylar actually seems to be reconnecting with Walt, something that I don't think anyone predicted. First, she stands up for Walt when Marie blames him for introducing Jesse into their lives, then she seems genuinely touched by Walt's "I'm not half the man your husband is" speech (the first time this season that Walt makes any reference to his battle with cancer, although I don't think he actually uses the "c-word"), and craziest of all, Skylar rests her head on Walt's shoulder (the first time we have seen them touch in a long time). But even after all that, the status quo returns in full force when Walt tries to explain to Skylar who he was talking to on the hospital courtesy phone and she just turns and walks away, uninterested in hearing any more lies.

While Walt is at the hospital, Jesse (who has just been released from the very same hospital) is hard at work in the lab. And by hard at work, I mean hand-drumming on the lab equipment, sliding around on a rolly-chair and inflating his haz-mat suit with air (think Missy Elliott) while jamming out to a dance-hall version of Old Dirty Bastard's seminal hit Shimmy Shimmy Ya. Eventually Gus' man at the laundry facility checks in on Jesse and notices that nothing is being cooked, setting up what I predict will be the theme next week's episode: a week long cook-a-thon during which Walt and Jesse have to produce 400 pounds of blue meth.

The end of the episode reminds us just exactly how powerful Gus Fring really is. He shows up at the hospital and feeds the entire law enforcement contingent waiting on news about Hank's condition. When he enters the family waiting room, Walt's heart skips like 10 beats. The connections between Fring, himself, the Cousins, Tuco and Hank's shooting are starting to come together in Walt's head.

Gus tells Walt not to worry, as the surviving Cousin is likely dying. What he doesn't tell him is that Mike, the fixer, is also at the hospital making sure the Cousin succumbs to his injuries.

Meanwhile, Juan, the Cartel boss is hip to Gus' plan for the Cousins demise and vows to pay him a visit as soon as the heat from the DEA and the Federales dies down. But he seems to underestimate Fring's reach, because as soon as he hangs up the phone he is gunned down in the foyer of his own home. The identity of the shooter is unknown, but we have to assume that it is someone working with Gus, right? Who knew he had enough juice to take down a Cartel boss...in Mexico?!

Gus' ultimate goal now seems pretty apparent. He wants to completely separate from the Cartel. We know he is a proponent of vertical integration when it comes to his businesses, as evidenced by his chicken farm and his chicken restaurant. Now that he has Walt, he can control the production and distribution of all the meth in his territory, and cut out the middle man, which in this case is the Cartel. The question remains; does Gus have the muscle to hold his territory once the Cartel has a chance to regroup?

How the Fuck Did Hank, a Fucking DEA Agent, Become the Coolest Character on this Show?

Breaking Bad is one of those shows in which action occurs in fits and spurts. Last week's episode was an action packed tour de force, so I wasn't that surprised when this week's episode had more of a "procedural" vibe, with the characters dealing with the fall-out of the RV stand-off...at least until the final 5 minutes.

Hank, who is still apparently oblivious to Walt's connection to the RV, shows up at Jesse's house and, after demanding to know who he is working with and how he got his cell phone number, promptly delivers a world-class ass-kicking. This sparks a series of events that display Hank's true colors and proves once and for all that he is a better man than Walt in his current incarnation could ever be. Instead of lying and digging himself in deeper (which is what Walt would do), Hank takes responsibility for his actions. After a moment of complete honesty with Marie (something Walt and Skylar haven't shared in a long time) in which he acknowledges his fears, mistakes and personal/professional shortcomings, Hank turns in his badge and gun.

Recovering in the hospital, Jesse vows to "haunt (Hank's) crusty ass forever" and assumes (at Saul's suggestion) he will be able to leverage the attack into a get-out-of-jail-free card. Hank isn't the only target of Jesse's rage. He threatens to rat on the infamous Walt/Heisenberg if he is ever caught cooking. "You're my free pass, bitch," he spits at Walt.

The honey-moon is over for Walt and Gale (the guy I was referring to last week as Neil). No more scientifically brewed coffee or poems. Walt is a complete dick to him at work, perhaps because he feels threatened by his chemistry knowledge and suspects Fring might be trying to steal his blue meth formula. Walt calls Fring to demand he fire Gale and hire Jesse as his replacement. This makes sense for Walt, he wants to keep Jesse close to keep from freelancing (and inevitably getting caught), but I can't understand why Gus would agree to this. But he does, so we shall see what he has up his sleeve for young Master Pinkman.

When Walt initially broaches the subject of renewing their partnership, Jesse flat out turns him down saying, ""Ever since I met you, everything I have ever cared about is gone". While this is true, Walt could say pretty the same thing about Jesse. That's why they are always drawn back together. Their relationship is like the drug that they are cooking; even though they realize it is ruining their lives, they keep coming back to it thinking "this time will be different". Jesse comes around only after Walt complements his meth-cooking acumen. Walt seems to understand that the way to get someone to do what you want them to is by stroking their ego, he just doesn't seem to get that Gus did just that to him.

The genius of this show is in the way that it pretty much tells the audience what is going to happen, but in a way that when it actually happens the audience is still shocked. We knew that the Cousins were going to go after Hank, we knew that it was going to happen sooner rather than later, but when I saw those two silhouettes through Hank's windshield I was still like, "Nuh uh...". But if I had to pick a nit (and isn't that what blogs, and the entire internet to a certain degree, are all about?) about the last scene it would be that it felt a bit clumsy and a little too convenient. I like the fact that the surviving Cousin would decide to finish Hank off with the chrome axe, but if a gun was too "facil" why didn't they attack him with the axe in the first place?

So, do we think Hank survives? And who was it that called him to warn him moments before the attack? It had to be Fring right? Who else knew about the Cousins targeting Hank? The intro scene establishes (at least I think this was the meaning of the scene) that things have been rocky between Fring and the Cartel for years, so I'm guessing Gus decided to use Hank as a way of getting rid of the Cousins. Getting rid of two of the group's most bad-ass killers would be beneficial for someone who plans to separate himself from the Cartel in the near future, right?

Lastly, this episode has further convinced me that the only for this show to conclude is with Walt's death. In the Breaking Bad universe, if you come clean to yourself and your family about the kind of man you really are (Hank), you survive. If you continue to live in a delusional, fantasy world in which your choices should come with no consequences (Walt), you are bound to die. Anyone agree? Disagree? ....Is anyone even reading this?

Breaking Bad - Sunset

Season 3 of Breaking Bad has a little bit in common with Season 2 of The Wire (which is fresh on my mind because I am in the middle of Wire binge in order to school my girlfriend on one of the top three greatest television shows in the history of the medium). The beginnings of both seasons are relatively slow and full of dense subtext. The purpose of the first half of the seasons is mainly getting the gang back together. In other words, retying loose ends that inevitably fray at the end of prior seasons. In the case of The Wire, it takes 6 or 7 episodes for Daniels to reassemble the old crew to take a run at Sobotka. In Breaking Bad, it is all about getting Walt cooking again and reuniting him with Jesse. In seasons like these, there are always breaking (Bad) points when the set up is done, the gang is back together and the ball starts rolling down hill, fast. In the case of season 2 of The Wire, it was the episode where Stringer has D'Angelo killed in Jessup. For Breaking Bad, the episode that sparks the wild ride towards the finish line was last night's.

Walt and Skylar are going forward with their divorce, which Walt seems to think is a result of Skylar's "unhappiness" and not his "meth-cookingness". To make their separation more official, an unusually upbeat and optimistic Walt decides to get his own apartment. He demands to rent the model apartment and when the agent balks, Walt asks him to "name one thing that is not negotiable". In a clever piece of direction, Gillian and company cut right to a shot of El Pollo, hammering home the point that Walt knows all too well that everything is negotiable. He just doesn't realize that Fring has outmaneuvered him beautifully in their negotiation last episode. Coming into this week, a lot of people were predicting that Gus was planning to use the three months of Walt's service to learn his meth-recipe and when he was finished, allow the Cousins to have their way with him.

After this initial Walt/Skylar divorce bit Breaking Bad puts the White's domestic issues on the back burner (thank god) in order to focus on the more pressing subject: Hank is hot on Jesse's trail. Last week I was pining for the old days of B.B., with Jesse and his buddies doing drugs and hustling. Right on cue, we get a scene featuring not only Jesse and Skinny Pete, but my man Badger. Jesse is rallying the troops to hit the streets with his solo-cooked batch of blue meth (he gives Badger a sample so potent it sends him into an impromptu jig, which Jesse puts a quick stop to lest Badger scuff his hardwood floors). Little do they know, Hank is right outside doing surveillance in hopes that Jesse will lead him to the RV.

Meanwhile, Walt shows up for his first day at his new job and meets his lab assistant, Neil, who has come prepared with his resume, which I imagine looks something like this:

Education:

Bachelors of Science in Chemical Engineering - University of New Mexico

Masters of Science in Organic Chemistry - Colorado University

Work Experience:

Acme Chemical Corporation - July 2005 - August 2010, Bolder, Colorado
Duties: Boring chemical stuff.

El Norte Division of The Mexican Drug Cartel - September 2010 - December 2010, Multipurpose Laundry Facility Outside Albuquerque, New Mexico
Duties: Assisted in the manufacturing of 200 pounds of high-quality methamphetamine per week for the duration of three months.

The two seem to hit it off and when Walt asks Neil how he ended up in the meth business, he responds with a version of Walt's own "I just respect the chemistry" rationalization (I guess Walt isn't the only one who is a tad delusional). To me, Neil seems too good to be true, I get the feeling that he and Fring might be up to something. We, at The 'Feeling, will continue to monitor the situation.

Things start to move at hyper-speed about 20 minutes in, when Marie reminds Hank of Walt's connection with Jesse (Walt used to buy pot from Jesse). Hoping Walt might have some information about the whereabouts of the RV, Hank gives Walt a call and completely tips his hand. Panicked, Walt calls Jesse to warn him, but hangs up when Jesse answers. Thinking more clearly, he calls Saul instead.

Walt catches up with the RV, Badger is having the oil changed at Jesse's request, and demands to have it destroyed immediately. Seizing the keys, Walt takes the RV to junk yard to have it wiped off the face of the earth, lest the DEA pull a few of his latent prints from its interior. Badger calls Jesse, who predictably assumes that Walt is trying to destroy the RV to take away his ability to cook, therefore eliminating the competition. Jesse races to the junk yard to stop Walt, unwittingly leading Hank right to the RV.

What comes next will go down in Breaking Bad lore as one of the show's defining moments. In an agonizing, sphincter-clenching sequence, Hank approaches the RV with Jesse and Walt inside. The dynamic between the two ex-partners reverts to its natural equilibrium as Jesse desperately turns to Walt for an escape plan. What Walt comes up with is quite possibly his most despicable, yet effective, idea to date.

Walt calls Saul, who in turn has his secretary, impersonating an ER nurse, call Hank and inform him that Marie has been in a car accident. As Hank speeds toward the hospital in a blind panic, Walt and Jesse destroy the RV. But this is just a temporary reprieve. Hank is still onto Jesse and he has to suspect Walt is involved. Can anyone think of a scenario in which Hank does not assume (correctly) that Walt tipped Jesse off and had a hand in the Marie/fake-car-wreck situation? I tried and I can't.

The issue now becomes: Will Hank survive long enough to bring in Jesse and Walt? The episode ends with Gus Fring meeting with the Cousins to bargain for Walt's life. In exchange for Walt, Fring greenlights Hank (the man who actually pulled the trigger on Tuco), who had previously been off limits due to his status with DEA. Will Hank be forced to turn to Walt for protection when he realizes who is after him? Will Walt be able to offer said protection? If the Cousins get to Hank, will they be satisfied or will they still want to put a chrome axe into Walt's ass? These are the questions that will be answered in the next few episodes and I can't fucking wait.

2010 Baltimore Ravens Schedule Breakdown and Predictions

Yesterday the NFL unveiled its 2010 schedule and let's just say the Ravens don't exactly have a cake walk into their third straight postseason. The question on everyone's mind in Baltimore was, "Will the Ravens play the Steelers close enough to the start of the season to catch them during Big Ben's inevitable suspension?". The answer to that question seems to be yes. They get the Steelers in Pittsburgh in week 4 and if the most recent reports are to be believed, Ben will be out for at least 4 games.

So that's the good news. The bad news: 4 out of the the first 6 games on the Ravens' schedule are on the road against three play-off teams (Jets, Bengals, Pats) and two others that barely missed the playoffs (Steelers, Broncos). The guys in purple and black are going to have to come out of the gate focused to survive this stretch.

The competition in the middle part of the season softens a bit and includes a bye in week 8. The Ravens should be able to roll the Bills and the 'Fins at M&T Bank, but things won't be as easy when they have to travel to Atlanta on a short week to take on Matt Ryan and the Falcons on a Thursday in prime-time.

The home stretch is almost as tough as the beginning of the season, with prime time games against Pittsburgh and Houston and a match-up with the Super Bowl champion Saints. The NFL has mandated that all Week 17 games must be played within the divisions and the Ravens finish up the 2010 regular season against the Bengals at home, with the possibility of a playoff berth on the line.

Here are my game-by-game predictions:

Week 1: @ Jets - Win. 17-10. Rex Ryan's defense holds his old team to under 21 points, but Sanchez struggles to move the ball inside the Ravens' 35 yard line.

Week 2: @ Bengals - Loss. 27-21. The Ravens' problems in Cincy continue as the defense fails to keep Carson Palmer out of the endzone on the game's final drive.

Week 3: Vs. Browns - Win. 35-16. Come on, its the Browns.

Week 4: @ Steelers - Win. 24-21. Ravens squeak past a Roethlisberger-less Pittsburgh, but Dennis Dixon has another strong performance.

Week 5: Vs. Broncos- Win. 28-10. Denver fails to move the ball against the Ravens' D for a second straight year.

Week 6: @ Pats - Loss. 31-20. Belichick and Brady avenge an embarrassing loss the Ravens in last year's playoffs.

Week 7: Vs. Bills - Win. 27-9. Buffalo sucks.

Week 8: Bye - Would have been nice to have the bye in Week 9, before the Thursday night game in ATL.

Week 9: Vs. Dolphins - Win. 24-14. The Ravens are the better team and they get it done at home.

Week 10: @ Falcons - Loss. 27-24. Ravens, coming off a very short week of practice, lay an egg in prime time, as they are prone to do. The national media uses this game as proof that Matt Ryan was a better pick than Joe Flacco despite Joe's superior overall and playoff record. I really hope I'm wrong about this one. This would be a perfect coming-out party for the Birds and set the tone for a strong second half of the season.

Week 11: @ Panthers - Win. 31-21. Just a gut reaction, I don't expect Carolina to be particularly good.

Week 12: Vs. Buccs - Win. 35-10. While TB should be better than they were last yer (how could they be worse?) but they will still suck.

Week 13: Vs. Steelers - Loss. 24-20. The Ravens can definitely win this game, but I just don't think they will win both against the Steelers. I picked them to beat Pittsburgh in game one, so I had to pick the Steelers in this one.

Week 14: @ Texans - Win. 21-20. I'm picking this one with my heart. The Ravens have to win this with the Saints coming into Baltimore the next week. I wouldn't be at all shocked if the Texans pull this one out at home, though.

Week 15: Vs. Saints - Loss. 35-24. Too much firepower from Drew Brees and champion Saints.

Week 16: @ Browns - Win. 21-7. Again, its the Browns.

Week 17: Vs. Bengals - Win. 20-17. Final game of the season, at home, crowd going ape-shit the entire game, they cannot lose this one.

Regular season record: 11-5
Division record: 4-2
Verdict: Ravens win the AFC North, barely.

What do you think? Discuss.

ABQ's Top Chef is Back in the Kitchen (Or Basement)!

Last night's Breaking Bad episode was relatively understated, even at times sort of 'quiet', stylistically, but packed quite a punch in the content department. Thematically, the episode was about 'what it is to be a man', specifically for Walt and Hank. Both are struggling to understand what their responsibilities as men are to themselves, their families, jobs, society.

The episode begins with a flashback to good old days of Breaking Bad, where everything was all cancer and strip clubs. Walt, complete with a pre-chemo full head of hair, gives Jesse $7000 to purchase an RV for the pair to cook their first batch of meth in. In classic Jesse style, he takes the money and a couple of buddies (including now-dead Combo) to a local titty-bar so they can floss a little bit with Walt's cash. The next day, with most of the cash gone, Combo does Jesse a solid by stealing his mom's RV and giving to him (This is the same RV that Hank is now hot on the trail of). This five minute intro really makes me miss the tone of the earlier seasons. Everything is so serious now, it makes me pine for the scenes of Jesse and his boys smoking meth and just having a good time. Also, this flashback gave me hope that this was going to be a Jesse-centric episode, but unfortunately after the first couple of scenes he did not return in earnest until the final scene.

Back in the present tense, Jesse thinks Walt backdoored him for a cut of the profit from Jesse's solo batch and Hank finds out that his partner, Gomez, will be taking his position in El Paso.

Walt pays a visit to Gus Fring to return the cash that was thrown into his car window last week, but Gus has other ideas (During this scene, Hanks offers the most self-diluted rationale for cooking meth yet: He just "respects the chemistry". Will he ever accept responsibility for all of the things he has done, or will he continue to rationalize forever?). He takes Walt on a trip to a laundry facility with a tricked out secret basement. Through a secret passage and down a spiral staircase is a state of the art meth lab, set up just for Walt, who is in absolute awe. Despite how impressed he is with the facilities, Walt still declines the three million for three months deal, after which Fring, calmly and quietly, lays a speech on him that sums up the entire episode:

"What does a man do, Walter? A man provides for his family."

"This cost me my family."

"When you have children, you always have family. They will always be your priority, your responsibility. And a man provides. And he does it even when he is not appreciated. Or respected. Or even loved. He simply bears up and he does it. Because he is a man."

Who could say no to these words of wisdom? And just like that, WALT IS BACK IN THE MOTHERFUCKING GAME! The moment we have been waiting all season for finally arrived and, as is so common with Breaking Bad, without very much fanfare. It just happened and then the show just moved right along.

Meanwhile, Hank is dealing with a bit of an identity crisis of his own. He is unable to admit to himself, much less anyone else, the true reason for him refusing to take the job in El Paso. That reason? He is scared. He has been a macho-man, tough-guy, DEA agent for years and it kills him to admit that he is terrified of dying. To him, a real man would never be scared of death, and yet he is. His wife, Marie, is beginning to pick up on this. She calls Skylar, who is parked outside of Ted's place (they are still fucking), to get some advice or maybe just to vent. During this conversation Marie mentions how facing death must certainly change a person, citing Walt as an example. This seems to have a genuine impact on Skylar, who seems to soften her stance on Walt slightly afterward. However, this might be too little, too late. Skylar comes home to find the bag of cash missing and her divorce paperwork signed.

Saul brings Jesse and Walt in for a meeting to clear the air. Jesse offers Walt ten percent of all of the profits of Jesse's solo venture if Walt will permit him to use his formula. Walt returns the other half of Jesse's first batch profits then drops the bomb. He tells his former partner that the money he has just given him will be the last Jesse will ever make in the meth business. "I'm in. You're out," Walt tells him. To which Saul reacts by immediately offering Walt a money laundering deal for the three million he is scheduled to make and Jesse reacts by throwing a large rock through Walt's car windshield.

David Simon's New Show Treme Debuts on HBO

To say David Simon's new HBO show, Treme, is about music would be like saying his old HBO show, The Wire, is about drugs. You would be correct to say so, but you would be leaving out much of the show's essence. Treme is about the city and people of New Orleans as much as it is about anything. And if it is about anything, it is about everything. Simon has a real talent for using micro-level story telling, to make macro-level observations. In The Wire, he used the stories of alcoholic cops, gay stick-up artists, dope fiends, corner boys, drug kingpins and political aspirants to paint a picture of an American city in decay. In Treme, the stories of dead-beat musicians, stoned disc jockeys, Mardi Gras Indian chiefs, disenchanted lawyers, and frustrated chefs are combined to paint a picture of a city struggling to rebuild.

Despite the similarities between the underlying social forces that steer the characters' lives (poverty, crime, lack of quality education, gentrification, inequality, political corruption, mistrust of law-enforcement), Treme and The Wire are very different shows. Don't get me wrong, the feeling of "grit" that pervaded The Wire is still present, but the hopelessness and gallows humor are toned down. Fortunately, the trombones and trumpets, and the hope that their sounds inspire, are cranked way up. It is hard to be completely depressed when you have such good music drifting into your open windows from the parade marching down the street.

For all of you Wire die-hards out there who thought that you might be disappointed by Treme, rest assured, you won't be. The show is good, the characters are easy to care about, the setting is dynamic and the acting is top-notch. It isn't preachy or accusatory like Spike Lee's When the Levees Broke, but it also doesn't appear to let anyone off the hook either.

Last night's episode begins with a parade and ends with a funeral. And the only real difference between the two is the tempo at which the band plays. This is the spirit of the city of New Orleans that Simon captures perfectly: no matter what happens, the band plays on.

In the premier episode, we are introduced to seven main characters and slew of people that may turn into main characters:

Wire alum Wendell Pierce (Bunk) plays Antoine, a down-on-his-luck trombonist who has to scam cab drivers for rides to his gigs.

Antoine's ex-wife Ladonna runs a neighborhood bar that serves as a de facto town hall for the remaining residents of Treme.

Ladonna turns to attorney Toni for help finding her brother, who has been missing since the levees broke.

Toni's husband Creighton, played by the always fantastic John Goodman, is some kind of authority on the hurricane who spends most of his scenes doing interviews about Katrina with various media outlets. Thus far, he is my favorite character by a mile. Seeing Goodman in this role makes me wish that Simon had been able to convince him to be in The Wire. He would have been absolutely perfect as Jay Landsman, McNulty's portly, foul-mouthed Sergeant. During an interview with a swarmy BBC reporter he rails against the government, calling the disaster "man made catastrophe, a federal fuck up of epic proportions". When the reporter asks him why the American tax payers should have to foot the bill for reconstruction, Creighton responds with, "Since when don't nations rebuild their great cities?". The guy from the BBC then has the stones to call into question whether New Orleans is indeed a great city, while simultaneously dissing the city's music and culinary traditions. Creighton goes Walter Sobchak on his limey-ass and throws his microphone and camera equipment into the canal. Later, after going on a tirade against the federal government during an NPR phone interview, Creighton fires off an classic zinger, screaming "This ain't Lake Wobegon, god dammit" before slamming the phone down. I slapped my knee repeatedly. Public Radio shtick gets me every time.

Speaking of public radio, Steve Zaun plays the role of Davis, a DJ fed up with having to spin overplayed records for pledge drives. When he isn't smoking bud or breaking into record stores, he is sleeping with Janette, a chef who is struggling to keep her restaurant staffed and stocked with food to due the flooding.

Clark Peters, another veteran of The Wire (Lester), plays Albert, a Mardi Gras Indian chief who returns to the city to find his home completely flooded and mold-ridden. He abandons his house and sets up shop in a corner bar. Can someone please explain to me what a Mardi Gras Indian is? Clark Peters is black, not Native American, so I don't think Mardi Gras Indians are real Indians, right? All I know is he has a wild-ass costume that he throws on to convince a neighbor to help him clean up the bar he is living in.

Breaking Bad- I.F.T, WTF?!

After a violent intro in which The Cousins lop Tortuga's head off, Breaking Bad shifts into the, becoming all too familiar, 'Skylar at Walt's throat mode'. These scenes are becoming increasing difficult to watch. Walt is desperate and pathetic, Skylar is desperate and furious. You can actually feel the hatred radiating from Skylar's eyes when she actually brings herself to make eye-contact with Walt.

Walt stops by the house to remove the pizza from the roof (it still looked pretty edible, I wonder how long it was up there) and decides, "it's [his] house too, [he's] staying". Skylar arrives and demands that Walt get the hell outta there. Walt refuses and Skylar calls the police, vowing to tell them about Walt's second profession. Before the cops show up, Walter Jr. walks through the door. Skylar can't bring herself to rat on Walt. I wonder if she would have gone through with it if their son wasn't present? This agonizing scene ends with the police unable to remove Walt due to a lack of a court order. Skylar makes her contempt for Walt clear with a simple yet chilling, "Welcome home".

Meanwhile, Jesse has shut himself into his furnitureless new/old house to mourn his dead girlfriend. This manifests itself in a string of compulsive calls to Jane's cell phone to hear her voice on the answering machine. Very sad stuff, although I'm pretty sure I would be doing the exact same thing in his situation. He is interrupted by Saul, who stops by to try again to convince him to convince Walt to get back into the cooking game. He even throws in a financial incentive. Eventually Jane's cell phone is disconnected and he can no longer hear her voice, effectively ending his mourning period and sending him out into the desert to do the only thing is good at; cook meth.

Speaking of lawyers, Skylar pays a visit to hers and spills the beans about Walt's criminal involvements. Despite her lawyer's insistence that the information would stay between the two (due to the attorney/client privilege), I have a feeling that this might be the first domino in a chain that leads to Hank discovering the truth about his brother-in-law. The scene ends heartbreakingly, with Skylar expressing hope that "things will resolve themselves", meaning she is looking forward Walt's death.

Hank is dealing with his own demons at the moment as well. After receiving word that he will be transferred back to El Paso, the sight of a gruesome cartel bombing that shook him to the core (literally and figuratively), he freaks out and starts a bar fight with two massive thugs. His motivation for the attack is debatable. Does he just want to prove to himself that he is a badass and not just a pansy that has panic attacks? Does he want to be injured or suspended from his job to avoid having to go back to El Paso? Has he simply snapped? It isn't clear.

The Cousins reappear with Don Salamanca (the guy in the wheelchair who I didn't recognize last week) and a cartel honcho at Gus Fring's chicken farm. The group explains to Gus that they are in the Estados Unidos to kill Heisenberg in order to avenge Tuco's death (The Cousins are Tuco's cousins and the Don is Tuco's uncle). Gus, in very impressive Spanish, replies that Heisenberg/Walt still works for Gus and the cartel is to keep their hands off until their work together is complete. It is clear that Walt is going to need Gus's protection at least as much as Gus needs Walt's kick-ass blue tweak.

Walt attempts to smooth things over with his wife by showing her a bag of cash and explaining that all of the horrible things he did to earn it were for her and the kids. Skylar doesn't seem particularly touched by the gesture and decline (at least for now) to accept the money.

She does, however, accept some dick from her book-cooking boss, Ted Beneke. Granted, tax fraud is much less taboo than drug manufacturing, but is it really all that easier to stomach? Apparently for her it is. It The episode ends with Skylar informing Walt of the affair matter-of-factly, as if to punish him for his sins. The look on Walt's face says it all. He wishes he would have just succumbed to cancer last year.

Leftovers:

Skylar fucks up the lyrics to "Old MacDonald" at the beginning of the episode. Either she is really dumb or has a whole lot on her mind.

Skylar has taken up smoking in an attempt to cope with the stress in her life. It would have been better if she was smoking a jay instead of a cigarette though.

The title of the episode is "I.F.T.", which is an apparently stands for "I Fucked Ted', which is what Skylar spits hatefully at Walt in the episode's last piece of dialogue. It was sort of shocking to hear a half-way bleeped "fuck" kinda-uttered on basic cable. As soon as the sentence left her lips I felt like I got slapped in the face. I felt terrible for Walt.

Why are The Cousins only targeting Walt? Are they unaware of Jesse's involvement?

Walt's "I did it for my family" rationalization for cooking meth rings a bit hollow because he could have accepted the money his former business partner offered him for treatment last season. His ego was too big to accept the money then and it is too big to accept responsibility now.

It was good to see Walt back in costume with the cook's apron on at the end of the episode. I just hope the next time we see him in it, he is cooking something other than pot roast.

As much as I appreciate and enjoy this show, it is kind of veering in the Mad Men direction in terms of focusing so heavily on Walt and Skylar's marriage. I really hope at some point soon we get a big fat dose of Jesse, Saul and a camper full of toxic fumes.

Justified- "Oh hey, look. It's that guy from Sex in the City!"

I am starting have a serious problem with Justified and, to be honest, I am close to throwing in the towel. Last night's episode was another guest-star filled one-off that did very little, (until the very end) to advance the plot and characters. The structure of the show seems to be: Raylan goes after a different quirky bad guy each week, Raylan kills bad guy at the end, audience gets a tiny nugget that barely advances the far more intriguing overall plot involving Ava, Boyd, and Raylan's dad. If that is enough to keep you interested, god bless.

The biggest issue with this structure is the fact that these guests appear and disappear so quickly, the audience doesn't get a chance to care about them or understand their motivations and nuances. Take last night's episode; We are introduced to Arnold Pinter, a fish-out-of-water, Brooklynite bookie/snitch, played by that dude from Sex In The City who bangs that ugly redhead. Raylan is given the unenviable task of being his go-between in the Marshall's office. The two seem to hit it off, mainly because neither wants to in Kentucky. The Pinter character is pretty decent, but he doesn't get the screen time required to really flesh him out. We don't even find out how he ended up in the Bluegrass state.

Even more egregious, was the way the Travis Travers character was handled. He went from being a deadbeat stoner to a homicidal criminal mastermind in the blink of an eye. I didn't buy it for even a second. But that is what happens when you have to squeeze a new character into a 43 minute window every week. Sometimes it works pretty well (Boyd and Pinter), mostly it just feels forced (Travers).

I think the thing that frustrates me so much about Justified is the squandered potential. Timothy Olyphant is a grade-A bad-ass and the Raylan character is perfect for him. I like the chemistry between him and his boss, who seems to really get what Raylan is all about. I like the idea of a law enforcement agent coming back to his hometown against his will to take down a crew of white-supremacists. But I really can't get passed the formulaic repetitiveness of the past two episodes.

"When I went out this morning to get the newspaper I saw a pizza on our roof! Would you know anything about that?!"

Last night's episode begins with an show down between a meth manufacturer and law enforcement. Fortunately for Walt, the aforementioned meth cooker, he is only pulled over for having a broken windshield. He explains to the officer that the windshield was damaged by falling debris from the plane crash. Unmoved, the officer writes Walt a citation, to which Walt reacts with a conniption that results in him being pepper sprayed and hauled back to the station. Luckily Hank pulls a few strings and Walt is released without charge.

From the opening moments and through the entire episode Walt appears to be completely shell-shocked. His face is blank and expressionless, except when he is lecturing a police officer about the first amendment. I don't know if it is the plane crash, or the separation from his wife, or the fact that he is coming to grips with the fact that now that he has beaten cancer he has to live with all of the terrible things he has caused, but it seems like he is suffering from some sort of PTSD.

Meanwhile, Jesse appears to be doing pretty well, all things considered. He drives past his old house and sees his father there fixing the place up. His father treats him coolly and tells Jesse that he plans on selling the house. Jesse, now thinking with a sober mind, formulates a plan to both screw over his parents, who he still seems to resent, as well as get his home back. He enlists Saul, who brokers a deal with Jesse's parents to sell the house at half the asking price as long as the fact that there was at one point a meth lab housed in the basement stays buried.

Walt also meets with Saul in this episode. Saul tries, unsuccessfully, to talk Walt into rejoining the meth cooking fraternity. Unlike Jesse, who admits to "being the bad guy" in the previous episode, Walt appears to still be in denial about all of the pain he has caused. He tells Saul he can't get back into the meth game because he "can't be the bad guy". When will he realize, like Jesse has, that he already is the bad guy? Saul attempts to convince Walt that Skylar has too much to lose to ever rat him out to the police, but just to be sure Saul, without Walt's knowledge, hires a man to keep surveillance (or is he up to something more sinister?) on her.

The bad ass Mexican dudes, who it turns out are cousins, reappear as well. This time they have made their way into the U.S. and are right in Walt's neck of the woods. After a strange scene involving an old man in a nursing home and a Ouija board, the cousins learn the true identity of the man they are a after, Walter White. (It has been awhile since I have watched any of the episodes from the older seasons, but is the old guy in the nursing home someone I should recognize? How does he know Walt?)

After a slow-burn for most the episode, things get pretty intense in the last couple of minutes as a confluence of danger comes to a head at the White residence. Walt arrives at the house only to discover that Skylar has changed the locks. While Walt is busy trying to break into his own former residence, the guy that Saul has hired to keep surveillance on Skylar is bugging the phones and house. Walt successfully gains entrance and hops in the shower. Meanwhile, as Saul's man watches from across the street, a car pulls up and the Mexican cousins, wielding a large axe, step out and head toward the door. The man watching across the street makes phone call to Gus Fring, the guy at the chicken restaurant. Before Walt steps out of the shower and is, presumably, chopped to bits, one of the Mexicans gets a text message that reads, "POLLO" and Walt is saved for the moment.

So things are bit more clear now, but just barely. We know that the Mexican cousins know that Walt is Heisenberg. We know that Fring is connected to the cousins, but we don't know how and to what extent. We also don't know why they are after Walt or what Saul has in mind for Skylar. Lastly, we still don't know what the significance of that eye Walt is always carrying around. I expect the pace of the season to pick up considerably next week. Needless to say, I'm pretty pumped.

Leftovers:

Flynn now would like to be referred to as Walter Jr. again.

There is something going on in this show with pools. There are always shots of pools, Walter is always pulling something out of or throwing something into a pool. Any guesses as to what the symbolism of the pool means? If I had to take a wild guess, I would say that in the last episode of the show Walt dies in a pool...

Marie, Skylar's sister, seems to know something fishy is going on with Skylar and Walt's separation. If she were to find out the truth, would she tell Hank? And even if she did, would Hank take Walt down? I think he would.

I would probably still eat that "roof pizza".

Justified = Law and Order: East Kentucky?

We are two episodes in and I cannot figure Justified out. After episode one, I wondered how the writers would squeeze an entire season out of Raylan's feud with Boyd and the white-supremacists. Well now it seems like they aren't even going to bother to try to squeeze a whole season's worth of material out of any one plot-line. The evidence now points towards Justified employing an "episodic" plot structure (think Law and Order) in which Raylan and company take on a different fugitive each week and wrap everything up neatly in a bow by the time the ending credits roll (as opposed to a "serialized" approach in which each episode builds off the next). If that is the case, it would be a bit of a mixed blessing. On the positive side, I wouldn't really have to watch the show each week to be able to follow it. On the other hand, shows that use an entire season to develop a overarching plot tend, to me at least, to be infinitely more gratifying.

The episode starts with Raylan visiting Boyd in a prison hospital as he recovers from the gun-shot wound Raylan left him with at the end of the pilot. Sounds strong so far, right? Well unfortunately this is the last we see of Boyd for the remainder of the episode. We are also only given single scene with Ava on screen. Raylan's ex is completely absent What gives? The writers set up these story lines in the first episode and completely abandon them in favor of generic cop-show fare.

Any thoughts?

BREAKING NEWS: Google accuses T.V. blog readers of drug abuse, righteous indignation ensues.

Breaking Bad is Back!

Even for show about a guy dying (well, not anymore...) of cancer, the first episode of Breaking Bad's highly-anticipated third season struck a decidedly somber chord. The action picks up a month or two after the conclusion of second season. Walt has been kicked out of his house by his suspicious wife Skylar, Jesse is in rehab recovering from the heroine and meth addiction that his girlfriend left him with after her overdose and Albuquerque as a whole is still reeling from the tragic plane crash that rained carnage down on the city (Hank puts the accident on par with 9/11 in terms of level of tragedy). Meanwhile, two sinister Mexican guys (cartel hit-men?) are making there way north towards the border with their sights set on Walt, who reluctantly turned down an offer of 3 million dollars for three months of his meth-cooking expertise.

More to come next week when there is a little less "set-up" and a little more to sink teeth into.

FX's Justified- Pilot

A few days before FX premiered its new show Justified (which I was really excited about) I learned that the show was an adaptation of an Elmore Leonard book. I had mixed emotions about this because I used to be a big fan of his books but sort of abandoned them mainly due to the bad taste the recent string of awful adaptations left in my mouth.

Aside from Get Shorty, the sarcastically self-aware style of Leonard's prose seems to get lost in translation when it is moved from the page to the screen. Disappointingly, the first episode of Justified, for the most part, continued this trend.

The show started strong enough, with a scene featuring Tim Olyphant, as U.S. Marshall Raylan Givens, in the midst of a standoff at a table in a fancy restaurant with, the always welcome, Peter Greene (they bad guy from the Mask, Redfoot from Usual Suspects) as a "gun-thug" from Miami. It is clear that only one of the men is going to walk away from the table, and since Olyphant is the star of the show, it is safe to assume that it would be him. The gun-thug makes a move towards his weapon and Raylan blasts him from under the table before he can cock the hammer.

After this initial action, the show begins to take on the "cartoonish" quality that pervades many of the Leonard adaptations. Raylan, who personifies this cartoonishness with the silly hat that he insists on wearing both indoors and out, is punished for the restaurant shoot-out by being transferred from the Miami office to his home state of Kentucky (I have been to Kentucky, they don't wear cowboy hats there, for the most part).

His assignment in the Bluegrass State is to bring down a crew of way over-the-top white-supremacists with a penchant for explosions and bank robbery. (This storyline involves one of the more annoying TV show cliches in which law enforcement has to
"catch the bad guys in the act" in order to arrest them. It is as if all of the TV writers, other than David Simon, have never considered that an actual investigation might be a good way to catch a criminal.) The leader of Aryan gang is a old acquaintance of Raylan's from his coal mining days named Boyd (played by The Shield's Walton Goggins, in what should, on paper at least, be the perfect role for him). The plot thickens when Boyd's brother is murdered by his own wife, Ava. It turns out that Ava and Raylan might be old flames and Boyd has always had a thing for his brother's wife.

FX is usually successful at creating TV shows that exist in their own worlds; worlds that share characteristics with the real world but operate by their own set of rules. Sons of Anarchy is a perfect example of this. Of course it is completely unrealistic for a biker gang to control an entire town with impunity, but in the world of Charming the audience can buy it. I had a more difficult time buying the world of Justified. In the past I have compared the characters is SOA to comic book heroes and I have generally meant that to be compliment. In the case of Justified, the same can be said, but in this case I would argue it is a negative thing. From Raylan's goofy hat, to his cliche of a catchphrase ("You make me pull, I'll put you down") to the extremely brazen (bordering on just plain dumb) behavior displayed by the Nazi gang, the whole vibe of the show was way over-the-top and difficult to identify with. Are we really supposed to believe that in a single week, in a tiny Kentucky town, the following events occurred without resulting in a single arrest, much less a call to the National Guard: A terroristic hate crime involving a military-issue rocket-launcher, a shoot-out involving Nazi's and federal agents in the middle of the street in broad daylight, a domestic violence related murder, a dead body found in a car, a bank robbery, and police-involved non-fatal shooting.

Olyphant is very good as the leading man in the show. Barely contained rage is evident in his eyes, and even more evident because the other characters are constantly pointing it out. The only real issue I had with his performance is he seems to slip in and out of his accent (even when he is using it, it doesn't really sound like a Kentucky accent). I was a bit disappointed in the work turned in by Walton Goggins. The Boyd character is so much in his wheel house that I would preferred a bit more subtlety and bit less wacky-violence and empty threats.

While it would hyperbolic to say that the premier of Justified absolutely sucked, I think it is fair to say that it did not live up the expectations associated with an FX program. I guess a fair description of my feelings after the show would be "underwhelmed". Stay tuned and cross your fingers that the show can make some serious improvements.

Worst. Fucking. Bracket. Ever.

This is just humiliating...