Yankees win, Aziz Ansari rocks a great T-Pain costume, Michael Scott hangs himself, 30 Rock gets more political and less funny and The League premiers

Last night was a veritable clusterfuck of television programming choices. I may have pulled a muscle in my thumb from flipping through channels. The World Series was on Fox, Carolina shocked VA Tech in Blacksburg on ESPN, NBC ran its standard Thursday night comedy line up, and FX aired Always Sunny along with the premier of its new show The League.

I was very excited to see The League. FX had been running promos for it for months and it looked like it had potential. I mean, how could it not be awesome? FX's track record speaks for itself and the world of fantasy football seems like it should be a comedy goldmine.

The first episode of The League was good, but not great. It certainly had its share of laugh out loud moments, but it also left some laughs on the table. One of the funniest things about fantasy football leagues are the team names (The name of my girlfriend's current squad is Flacco's Crack-ho. Hillarious.). We were shown the name of the league (The Quest for Shiva), but they missed an opportunity for some good fantasy football team name shtick. Also, I wouldn't have minded a few more scenes with The Oracle doling out draft advice. ("How about Larry Johnson?". "Yeah, that is a great pick... In 2005".) I thought Taco's song was pretty funny, and the mere fact that the character's name is Taco is a nice touch. While I enjoyed watching the way the men on the show interacted, the two wives felt a bit flat. (I laughed the first time I saw the scene about the charity event for dogs with down syndrome, "Its an epidemic.", but I had seen the same commercial so many times that when the scene played out in the episode I barely cracked a smile.) I liked the pubic hair joint bit; I once saw a kid take a bong hit of pubes, plus the fact that Paul Scheer's character decided to frame a half smoked joint was great in itself. While I wasn't as impressed with The League's series premier as I was with Modern Family's, I am definitely looking forward to seeing more episodes.

"What do you know about banging pornstars?"- Jax

So, it appears that SAMCRO is being attacked on at least two fronts, possibly three, now. First it was just the Nazi’s, now porn-gangster Tom Arnold and maybe even the Mayans want in on the action. It is not clear how SAMCRO will be able to survive, particularly given the ever-widening schism between Jax and Clay. It seems like Sons of Anarchy is at a crossroads in terms of the direction and tone the show will take. Will SAMCRO continue to be live-action comic book characters who ride motorcycles, shoot (and sell) guns, wear cool costumes and always triumph in the end or will the writers give in to some of their darker impulses (like Jemma's gang-rape) and take the show in a more Sopranos/Wire-esque direction, one where your favorite characters die. Or go to jail. Only to reappear in a later season. I'm torn on which direction I would prefer. The show could work either way, I would just hope that if they chose the latter route they would find a few more actors that don't suck for some of smaller roles.

Jemma and Tara had a nice honeymoon period that lasted a few episodes, but it appears that their relationship is beginning to show signs of strain. Tara is still oblivious to the fact that it is impossible for her to be a SAMCRO “old lady” while at the same time maintaining her status as a respected physician and upstanding citizen. Jemma’s conversation with Tara’s boss and the subsequent reprimand she receives are proof of this reality. It is only a matter of time until she is forced to make a choice between the man she loves and the job she has worked her entire life for. Let's hope she chooses the dude.

Luckily for SAMCRO, the Aryan power couple, Zobelle and Henry Rollins, seems to be developing a rift. Rollins screwed up a gun delivery that ended up in a firefight. (How could no one have been at least grazed? Horrible aim on both sides.) This scene didn’t really sit right with me though. How could Zobelle, who up until this point has been razor sharp with the precision of his actions, plan a massive gun delivery so poorly? By the way, who was that third Nazi who sort of took Henry Rollins down a peg? That guy is the worst actor ever. Soupy Sales could have put more life into those lines. (Cue High-hat)

I was pretty surprised by Luanne’s murder.. When I first saw the car on the side of the road with the lisence plate that said "XXX Diva" or something I initially assumed it was the chick that Opie's into. (Jax gets a good zinger at Bobby's expense when Bobby tried to give Opie some advice about sex with porn stars) I didn’t think Tom Arnold had it in him. But I wonder why the writers decided that they needed another antagonist. We already have the Nazis, the Mayans, the Police and the Feds to worry about. But, I am learning to trust the writers so there must be a reason. Maybe Luanne’s death will push Jemma over the edge. She certainly seemed close to a complete breakdown when she smashed the serving dish onto the dinner table.
What is up with this Sonia character (Chibs’ wife). Who is she? And why is Jemma so scared of her? This season has really picked up the pace. I wonder how much they are planning to squeeze into the end of this season and how much they will carry over to season 3.

Oh yeah, and that creep who jacks off constantly is back. Only this time even weirder (Save both pointers, all of his fingers, have been removed by Chinese gangsters as a remedy for the constant jacking off) and more annoying. Great...

Top Three Movie Soundtracks (Rap)

The other day I found my old copy of the Rush Hour soundtrack. I popped it in today on my way home from work and instantly remembered why I had kept it for so long. As far as soundtracks go, this one is loaded. It got me thinking about other movie soundtracks that are chock-full of bangers. Here are my top three rap/hip-hop movie soundtracks:
1. Belly
This is one of my all-time favorite gangsta movies (not to be confused with a "gangster" movie like The Godfather. (Quick sidebar: I have a strange appreciation for "black" movies and television. You know how Netflix will try to suggest movies that you might like based on the movies you have previously viewed? Well, they group these movies into genres like 'romantic comedies', 'buddy-cop movies', 'goofy cult classics'. One of the categories of movies that Netflix most often suggests for me is a sub-genre called 'Gritty African-American Crime Dramas'. What this says about me I do not know. Anyways...) For anyone that doesn't know, Belly is a movie by Hype Williams about two outlaws, played by Nas and DMX. The movie also features Method Man, T-Boz and that thick-ass chick from Bronx Tale. The soundtrack was released by Def Jam and features mainly east-coast rappers. Here are some of the highlights:
An awesome collabo featuring Nas, DMX, Method Man and Ja Rule called Grand Finale. Nas' verse in this song is particularly potent.
An uncharacteristically gritty, but catchy slow jam from D'Angelo called Devil's Pie.
A characteristically zany song by Wu-Tang with verses from RZA (who also provided the distinctive beat) and Ghostface, and a wild, screaming O.D.B. on the chorus called Windpipe.
Crew Love, a vintage Roc-a-fella jam with Jay-Z (don't you wish he still sounded like this?), Beanie Seigel and Memphis Bleak.
A song called "Tommy's Theme" with the LOX and some clowns called Made Men. Styles, Jada and Sheek (yes, in that particular order) kill it like always, but Made Men are awful and I always skip to the next song when their verse starts.
A Gangstarr classic in Militia, remixed. (DJ Premier is far and away superior to any faggy producer making beats today.)
There are a bunch of other decent tracks from the likes of Mya, NORE (when he was still called Noreaga), Raekwon, and Ja Rule.

2. Friday
Again, one of my favorite movies of all time. The soundtrack is a little more eclectic than Belly's. Mainly, though, it is west-coast gangster shit with a sprinkling of funk, and classic R&B. Many of these songs are so iconic and perfectly chosen that anytime I hear them on the radio or something an image of corresponding scene instantly appears in my mind:
Tryin' to See Another Day - Isley Brothers: Opening scene, camera pans over the faces of the Jones' as they sleep in their respective beds. My favorite part is the fact that Craig's sister sleeps with her head propped up on her elbow to keep here hair style intact.
Keep Their Heads Ringin'- Dr. Dre: Craig and Smokey pull up to the bodega in Smokey's hooptie(his license plate is FCK IT or something like that).
Mary Jane- Rick James: Just thinking about this song and this scene in the movie makes me smile. Best pot smoking montage ever.
Hoochie Mama - 2 Live Crew: Plays pretty much anytime Craig's girlfriend appears. (Also, plays in my mind about 34.7% of the time when I see my girl's car pull up.)
Some other of the other jams on the soundtrack are from Cypress Hill, Mack 10, Bootsie Collins, Tha Alkaholiks, and Scarface.

3. Rush Hour Soundtrack
Unlike the previous two soundtracks, for the most part the songs on the Rush Hour CD do not correspond with particular scenes in the movie. Or at least I don't think they do. Also, this CD is a little more mainstream and "poppy" than the others. Like the Belly soundtrack, this album was put together by Def Jam. Highlights include:
A bunch of audio snippets of Chris Tucker. (Weird coincidence that CT is stars in 2 of the three movies on the list.) You know, stuff like "Don't Ever Touch a Black Man's Radio" and "Cigaweed".
Dru Hill - How Deep is Your Love: This song reminds you that at one point in the not too distant past Dru Hill and Sisqo were actually making hits and were not always just the butt of jokes. This song is made even better by a Redman verse.
Ja Rule - Bitch Better Have My Money: File this under the "forgot they were ever good category" as well. Before Ashanti, Ja Rule actually had a few bangers. He was also pretty awesome as a member of The Murderers. Not the most creative group name ever.
Wu-Tang Clan - And You Don't Stop: Classic O.D.B, standard RZA beat, excellent chorus (which is surprising because Wu-Tang, particularly after 36 Chambers, did a large percentage of their songs sans-chorus).
Honorable Mentions for other good contributors: Slick Rick - Impress The Kid, Montell Jordan - If I Die Tonight, Terror Squad - Terror Squadians, Too $hort - Tell The Feds,and Jay-Z - Can I Get A.

Modern Family is really funny. You should watch it.

Modern Family is the kind of special little show that makes sitting through all of the normal network TV dreck worth it. It isn't over the top, or in your face, or obscene; it is just charming, funny, and it makes you feel good when you watch. All of the characters, with the possible exception of Claire, are extremely likable. (It is sort of strange that I have found her to be pretty cold; the actress that plays her, Julie Bowen, was extremely sweet and sympathetic as Carol in, another understated, feel-good network comedy, Ed. Also, FYI, she is from Baltimore.)

I'm glad the writers have kind of moved away from the hip lingo shtick with Phil. If they had kept up the "keepin' it reals" with the same intensity as was present in the first couple episodes that well would certainly be dry by now. Thankfully, they have shifted the focus of Phil's jokes mainly to his semi-obvious, semi-creepy infatuation with Gloria, his step-mother-in-law.

Ed O'Neil is perfect in his role as old-fashioned, stuck in his ways, grouch who turns out, when pushed and prodded, to be pretty accepting. Despite his stubbornness, he is the glue that keeps the family together. After all, this show isn't about Phil's parents or siblings, or Cam's or Gloria's.

I like the choice the writers have made to let the viewer into the family details and back story incrementally and naturally. In each episode we get a new nugget that provides insight into who these characters are and how they ended up as a "family". This week's was that Cam, the big flamboyantly gay guy, was a standout division one offensive lineman in college and like Ed O'Neil's Jay, a big Fighting Illini fan. I hope in future episodes they give us a glimpse into how Jay and Gloria ended up getting together (sort of like the "Casablanca" bit last week with Cam and Mitchell). How does an balding, slightly overweight, at least semi-biggoted, old geezer end up marrying a fiery, young latina?

Lets just hope this show last long enough for us to find out. Unfortunately, it is promising, new shows like this that networks always seem to pull the plug on after a season; and yet somehow Big Bang Theory has been on for what seems like decades.

Sons of Anarchy goes Oz

First of all, how cool did SAMCRO look in those orange prison uniforms?

Some thoughts on the episode:

I was kinda hoping that the black dudes would wait until Dante (I think that was their target's name) had his johnson in or around Juice's mouth before bursting in. But, I guess that would have been a little too much for basic cable.

I was really liking the tension built through the heroes' incarceration. I think that they resolved the situation with their bail a little too soon; I would have liked to see the crew sweat it out in jail for at least the entire episode.

I was really pleased that the writers brought back some elements and characters from past seasons with this episode, particularly the reappearance of Agent Stahl. I hope she is back for good. Maybe her guilt over her involvement in Donna's murder will encourage her to help SAMCRO's crusade against the Nazi's in some way. I think Agent Stahl might be a reader of this blog; she agrees with me that maybe SAMCRO should get out of the gun running business. Jax should heed that advice. I am sensing that she and Jax might eventually join forces against Clay.

Speaking of Jax and Clay, I half-expected the two to hug-it-out after their wild prison fracas. (By the way, Jax's face wasn't nearly mangled enough after that fight. He would have definetly needed some reconstructive surgery. Also, if he was smart, he would have gotten in that fight before going to prison, he is way too pretty for jail.)

What do you think about the significance of Jax bringing up the Cohen situation? It seemed like kind of a throw-away line initially, but Stahl's stunned reaction made it seem pretty important. Pretty stupid thing for Jax to say to her, right?

Check back tomorrow for thoughts on Modern Family and whatever else I feel like putting up.

Letters to the Ravens

Dear Ray, Ed, T-Sizzle, Kelly Gregg, Jared Johnson and any other defensive player that his been with the team for awhile,
Do you guys remember what it used to be like for the Ravens? Back in the days of Boller and Billick. Back in the days when all you would ask is that the offense score at least 10 points. Now the offense puts up tons of points and the D can't get a stop when it matters. No more forcing timely turnovers, no more confidence that the D will come through when it really matters. What happened, guys? Did the departure of Bart, Rex and Jim Leonhard hurt the unit as much as it appears? Pull it together, use this bye week to do some soul searching and decide what kind of defensive unit you want to be, one that thrives on its past reputation or one that has an identity of its own.

Dear Chris Carr and Frank Walker,
You guys are way out of your league. You do not deserve to be out on the field on Sundays. Carr, on kick-offs and punts, you field the ball (if we are lucky) and run directly into the arms of the opposing tacklers. And god-forbid if you are inserted into the defensive secondary. Walker, you are just plain not good enough. You get burned repeatedly every game, you can't cover and your tackling leaves much to be desired. You should give half of your game check to Chris McAllister for being such a drunk and a loose cannon and burning every bridge here in Baltimore.

Dear Greg Mattison,
How did you get the job as the leader of one of the most innovative and feared defensive units in all of football with little to no NFL coaching experience? I know you are close Harbough family friend, but did you walk in on Jim and John practicing french kissing on each other as kids or something?

Dear Joe Flacco,
Thank you for the gutty performance yesterday. You went head to head with Brett Favre and didn't blink. Your expression, or lack thereof, on the sideline when Hauska missed the game winning kick said it all. You know you did all you could to win, your defense and kicker let you down.

Steve Hauska,
You better thank your lucky stars that Adam Vinatieri went down for 4 to 8 weeks. If he hadn't and Matt Stover was still sitting at home on his couch, you would be out of a job. Kill yourself.

Anita Marks in Playboy

*Warning: Link is NSFW*
By no means is this breaking news and it might even be fairly common knowledge, but I just found out about it, so I figured I share. Apparently, sports talk radio personality (and complete moron) Anita Marks posed for nude for a 2002 spread in Playboy. I discovered this because on his weekly radio show, Terrell Suggs responded to a barb from Marks in regards to his handsome contract with the Ravens with a retort about the amount of money she received from Hugh Hefner. It immediately got turned uncomfortable and Marks was noticeably offended. So I looked it up and came across this. Enjoy (well, maybe that isn't the right word).

Michael Imperioli Tequila Commercial

Anyone seen the new tequila commercial with Chrissy Moltisanti? I like the one where he kicks his feet up on the desk and knocks over the Patron bottle. I have one simple adjustment that would make that commercial infinitely more badass and Sopranos-y:
Michael Imperioli: "What happened to tequila? Nowadays its all velvet ropes and posturing. I dont know about you, but when I drink it I want to kick back and be myself"
He kicks his feet up on the desk and slouches back against chair, causing an object to fall from his waist band.
*Sound effect of gun hitting the floor*
Michael Imperioli: Oops.
He looks knowingly at the camera and leans behind the desk to pick up the object.
CUT.

Sons of Anarchy is Back!

I know I did quite a bit of hating last week, but the show more than redeemed itself with this week’s episode. This episode reminded me why I really like Sons of Anarchy. Here are some thoughts:



We found out that the Irish member of SAMCRO is named Chips (or maybe it is Chibs, I’m not really sure.) I like it when they give the more peripheral characters some face time on camera, even if they are just being blown up with a car-bomb. I would like to see more of the Prospect, he has kind of fallen by the wayside in this season. He was always good for a little comic relief (his character reminded me a little of the bartender at the Bing that Tony was always smashing over the head with telephone receiver).



There are some interesting relationship dynamics that have been developing:

Jemma/Tara – This relationship is fast become the most entertaining on the show. I like this duo much more as allies than I did when they were adversaries. The “fire arm incident”, as Jax referred to it, was the best scene of the episode by far. Jemma’s and Tara’s faces were priceless as they lit up the porn star’s car. Has anyone else noticed that for a doctor, Tara seems to have an awful lot of free time to hang out at the club house?

Jax/Clay – These two have been on a collision course since last season. Clay’s expression as he was put into the paddy wagon said it all. Pure hatred.

Jax/Opie – These two friends have found themselves on opposite sides of the Jax/Clay fued. Jax’s double-entendre about “losing his best friend” was corny, but telling. How long until Jax is forced to come clean to Opie about the truth of his wife’s killing?

Jax/Bobby – As Clay’s consigliere of sorts, it has been somewhat surprising that he has taken Jax’s side in the voting as of late. These two could be a formidable duo if Clay was to be removed from the picture. By the way, how desperate and pathetic did Clay come off when he trashed the cigar shop? He used to be cold and calculating, but this season he has fallen into trap after trap set by the Nazis.

Jax/Hale - What kind of cop allows a biker-gang member to accompany him (gun drawn) on patrol with him?


Lastly, did anyone stick around for the preview of next week’s prison episode? How badass does that look? People getting shanked in the yard, Jax and Clay going head to head…count me in!

Cincy shocks Baltimore and takes sole possesion of first place in the AFC North

I went to the Ravens game yesterday; sometimes when you are at the stadium you get swept up in the atmosphere and it is tough to really analyze the game. That said, here are some thoughts on the loss to Cincy:

Derrick Mason had zero catches. It didn’t even seem like Joe looked his way. This is mind boggling. Mason has been Flacco’s favorite target for the past two seasons but for some reason was completely absent from this weeks game plan.

Willis McGahee had only one carry. What happened to the “three headed monster”? I like Ray Rice, he always seems to pick up positive yardage and is a great dump down option for Flacco, but I would have like to see Willis involved more.

What the hell has happened to the Ravens defense? We all knew the secondary was questionable (and they proved this again by giving a touchdown through the air in the final minute), but since when does this D give up 120 yards on the ground to any running back, much less Cedric Benson? I mean, come on. The Ravens D could not get off the field and they allowed the Bengals to completely dictate the tempo of the game and dominate the time of possession. I am really starting to have serious doubts about Greg Mattison’s ability to come up with an effective defensive scheme that works in the NFL. Maybe we all took Rex Ryan for granted a little bit while he was here. I sure do miss the days of pre-snap “organized chaos”. Carson Palmer had all day to sit in the pocket yesterday. The secondary is suspect, but the front seven are not doing it any favors by allowing opposing quarterbacks to take as much time as they want to find an open receiver. Final thought on the defense: Didn’t that last touchdown drive for the Bengals remind you of the drive the Ravens gave up to Tennessee last season to lose that game?

I don’t want to blame the officiating for this loss, because that would take the onus the poor performance of the players and coaching staff. However, some of the calls that were made against the Ravens D were borderline at very best. This is now two weeks in a row that the outcome of the game has been at least partially decided by the officials.

I am very concerned about the challenge of going to Minnesota next week. If Palmer and Benson were able to make the Ravens defense look that pedestrian in Baltimore, imagine what Farve and Peterson could do in Minneapolis.

Thursday Night TV Extravaganza

Wow. Thursday night was an epic night of television. Two and a half straight hours of hilarity, most of it on NBC. Here is a run down of the highlights:

8:00 PM – Community
Initially I liked this show. I was intrigued by the notion of Joel McHale starring in his own sitcom along side Chevy Chase (who, by the way seems, to be competing with Ed O’Neil for the “Damn He Got Old Award”), some blond chick named after a popular water filtering pitcher, that black guy from the “Bro-Rape” sketch, Pete Campbell’s wife, and an Indian guy with mild autism. In the first episode, Joel McHale was snappy and charismatic. Unfortunately, the show, and McHale’s character, has become much less interesting and the laughs father and farther apart since. Now the funniest and most likable character is Abed, the Indian Raymond Babbitt.


8:30 PM – Parks and Recreation
Most underrated comedy on TV right now. The cast is superb. I had given up on Amy Poehler when she joined the cast of SNL. The move from Upright Citizens Brigade to SNL was kind of like a football player from a successful small college with a great program who is drafted by the Oakland Raiders. Al Davis might overpay to get you, but you are going to be part of something supremely awful. Rashida Jones is great. (Best semi-racist quote from my girlfriend of the night, "She doesn't even look black at all") It is getting to the point where I have to stare at the floor when she is on screen so I will be allowed to sleep in my own bed that night. She is that hot. She also has a pretty kick-ass resume. Check out her IMDB sometime (Here are the highlights: Freaks and Geeks, Boston Public, Chappelle’s Show, The Office, I Love You Man). The unsung hero of the show (and pretty much everything he appears in) has to be Aziz Ansari as Tom Haverford. He absolutely fucking slays me. His 5 minutes of screen time in Funny People was exponentially funnier than any scene with Adam Sandler since The Wedding Singer.

9:00 PM – The Office (Hour-long Jim/Pam Wedding Special)
I loved the first 55 minutes of this episode. It was absolutely pitch-perfect and had more laugh-out-loud moments than I can count. For whatever reason, this episode seemed to use slapstick type humor more often than we are used to from The Office (the vomiting scene at the beginning, Andy ripping his scrotum) but it really worked well. To me, Kevin stole the show. He was hilarious as usual. I could have done without the whole dancing down the isle bit. It seemed like the writers took the easy way out with the end of the episode. It came off as gimmicky and trite. I would have been happier if they had used those 5 minutes to show a few more scenes with Jim’s brothers or Michael and Pam’s mom. This episode raises some serious questions about how the show will work in the future. A married couple in the office creates a whole new dynamic, one that at first glace does not appear particularly funny. But I trust that the people at The Office will find a way to make it work.

10:00 PM - Always Sunny In Philadelphia
I am starting to get worried. I love this show, and have since the first episode, however this season seems to have more chuckle moments than knee-slappers. As much as I like the idea and will probably try it this weekend, the wine-in-a-can bit seemed to miss. But, like always, Charlie saves the day. It is tough for me to hate on an episode that went to credits with me in hysterics.


-Salt The Snail!

Wednesday: Glee Vs. Modern Family

Wednesday nights are tough: Two legitimate television contenders, both starting at 9 PM. This predicament began when FOX aired the pilot for its new musical comedy Glee after an episode of last season’s American Idol. (Gayest sentence ever.) I checked the show out and discovered that it was pretty damn good despite the fact that I felt like kind of a 'mo for enjoying it. (I’ll be the first to admit it. I like gay-ass shows. Actually, it isn’t even that some of the shows I like are really gay per se; it’s just that their target demographic is the teenage female. From Dawson’s Creek to Laguna Beach; I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, I’ve sat through Noxzema commercials with Jennifer Love Hewitt all the way to Hayden Panetierre and every fresh faced teen spokes-model in between.)

I don’t know why every network doesn’t have a prime-time show that takes place in a high school. (How many more shitty crime dramas with acronym titles do we need? I don’t understand how these shows stay on the air. I don’t know anyone who has watched even a second of NCIS and it is painful to see what the CSI franchise has done to the legacies of David Caruso and Gary Sinese. Off the top of my head, here is a list of good recent cop/crime investigation shows: NYPD Blue, Homicide, The Wire, The Shield and that’s pretty much it. Also, I am sick hospital dramas (get it?); the first couple of seasons of E.R. were good and I guess a lot of people like Grey’s Anatomy but the rest suck.) High school shows are almost always entertaining. Here are some of the best: Freaks and Geeks, The O.C., My So Called Life, Strangers With Candy, Friday Night Lights, Saved By The Bell, Boston Public, Boy Meets World (the middle seasons)… I could go on all day.

Which brings us back to Glee. It might be a little too early to tell, but this show seems to have all of the makings of another quality high school show: A group of teens from different social strata who must learn to work together, a teacher tasked with keeping this group together who ends up learning as much from the kids and they learn from him, evil cheerleaders (and an evil cheerleading coach), weighty and topical subject matter (pregnancy, teacher/student sexual relationships, teen homosexuality), and of course plenty of attractive young actors/actresses (Lea Michele, the girl who plays Rachel, is one of those strange kinds of hot. Her nose and mouth are completely out of proportion with the rest of her face but it doesn't even matter.). It doesn't hurt that the writing on the show is down right clever. My favorite line so far: Kurt, the hillariously flaming drama geek, to the head football coach- "My name is Kurt Hummel and I am auditioning for the role of kicker!".

The biggest problem facing Glee right now is it time slot. It begins at the same time as this season's other promising new comedy, Modern Family.

I have begun to forgo the first half of Glee in favor of ABC's Modern Family, the latest effort to make the lives suburban families funny. The "modern" in the title, I assume, refers to the fact that only one of the 3 families in show (we find out late in the pilot episode that these three families are really part of one larger extended family) is a traditional nuclear family. The other two families are a gay couple who have recently adopted an Asian baby named Lily ("Won't that name be hard for her to say?" Cut to me slapping my knee.) and a family consisting of a spicy Latina divorcee, her strangely mature son Manny ("Ugh, kids, you don't have to tell me, my school is full of them"), and a surprisingly old looking Al Bundy. For my money, the two "non-traditional" families are the most interesting. Al Bundy's relationship with his step-son Manny has the potential for some comedy gold. Ditto for the chemistry and dynamic between the two gay dudes. Modern Family is the kind of TV show that I love and (unlike Glee) has the potential for real staying power. This show is character and dialog driven and is not based on sight gags or gimmicks. The pilot episode was absolutely brilliant, but unfortunately the following two were less so. Even so, the show is good enough to make me miss half of another good show each week.

"You think this is hard. I'm living with Hepatitis, that's hard." -Glee
"The only way his dad is like superman is that he landed in this country illegally."-Modern Family

Thoughts on Sons of Anarchy

Is it just me, or is this season of Sons of Anarchy just not as good as the first two? I'm not willing to go as far as to say that it has jumped the shark, but it seems to be slowly approaching the shark with its knees bent in the anticipation of flight. The acting on the show was never superb, but it seems like this year the actors, Katey Sagal excluded, are pretty much mailing it in. Actually, the guy who plays Chief Hale has turned in a few good scenes, but the guy that plays his newly corruptible fellow officer has been awful. He screams lines that would be better served with a bit more subtlety, plus if the video evidence isn't proof enough of his involvement with the white supremacist movement, his hair style certainly is. His hair style is like a cross between Don Draper and Adolph Hitler.

This season is particularly disappointing because it should be badass. On paper, this year's villains are a million times more villainous than the past seasons. So why are they so much less interesting than Ally Walker's cuntastic Agent Stahl or the girlfriend stalking ATF agent played by Dutchboy? (Remember when he squeezed the life out of that cat on the Sheild? Riveting.) I mean, come on, I love Henry Rollins, but could he be any more lifeless as the neo-Nazi side-kick/gang-rapist aficionado? (By the way, do they have to show the scene with the baby doll in the van, followed by the shot of the pack of Nazi's tearing off Jemma's jeans in every episode's "Previously On"?)

While I am on the subject of complaints about Sons of Anarchy, don't you think that the show would have been better served if SAMCRO, instead of being gun-runners, was in the drug business (meth cookers/pot growers/coke importers)? It seems pretty unlikely that urban street gangs obtain their firepower from a bunch of bikers who are supplied by the IRA. This is America, right? Can't you pretty much buy a gun anywhere? I guess I could be way off base with this. Admittedly, I know very little about the underground weapons trade.

Final bitch about the show: As much as I like Jax the character and Charlie Hunnam the actor (he played Lloyd, the British collegiate playboy in the extremely underrated FOX comedy Undeclared (This show features a a young Seth Rogan and folk music legend Loudon Wainwright III in a hilarious father-figure role)), there is something about his costume that drives me crazy. Don't get me wrong, he pulls it off amazingly well (and I'm pretty sure my girlfriend wants to sit on his face), but I have never seen anyone wear white shell toes, a wallet chain, baggy blue jeans with a knife holstered to the pant leg and a sleeveless leather biker jacket. I realize the full-on biker look doesn't look right on anyone who came of age after the Tet Offensive, but I don't think combining it with the mid-nineties suburban skater look works well either. While we are on the subject of costumes, I have to give the show props for having the cast sport those badass SAMCRO t-shirts this season and you gotta love the little blue SAMCRO beanie Jax's baby wears. Speaking of Jax's baby, what the hell every happened to his mother, a tweeker Adriana La Cerva (I don't remember what her character's name on SOA was)? She is a pretty damn good actress, it seems like a shame that she wasn't on the show longer.

I will wrap this monstrosity up by giving Sons of Anarchy some props. First to Katey Sagal. She is absolutely great on the show. One of the only things that keeps me tuning in each week is the trust that she will get some sweet revenge on those Nazi-fucks one of these episodes (I think it moved when Jemma went tearing through that parking lot with the piece in her hand). Also, SOA has one of the most kick-ass theme-song/opening credits ever.

That's all for now, check back tomorrow for my thoughts on either Modern Family or Glee (I haven't decided which one I will watch, they are both off to a strong start) and maybe even some thoughts on the first night of MLB playoffs (maybe not...).

-The Crow Flies Straaaaiightt!

A brief note about last Sunday’s Ravens/Pats game

This blog will not be mainly about the Baltimore Raven (I hope) but please bear with me. I have been hearing clowns on the sports talk stations whining all day about the officiating on Sunday. Please do not blame the loss of the game on the referees.

I am not saying that support these calls (the most controversial of the two calls being the phantom roughing the passer orchestrated by an awkwardly falling, off balance, in the general direction of the Golden Boy’s knee Terrell Suggs or the “That call was bullshit,” heard audibly over the speakers on my sweet Samsung 32in. unsportsmanlike handed out to coach Harbough), however these call did not cost the Ravens the football game.

(I was particularly intrigued by the call against John Harbough. I wonder if this incident is one of the first examples of a paradigm shift in the philosophy of today’s NFL referees towards a more “basketball-like” approach to dealing with coaches on the sideline. Penalties being awarded to coaches on the sideline, while rare in the NFL, are common place in the NBA and the NCAA. And believe it or not, this might be a good thing.

I love it when coaches get T’ed up in basketball. I am pretty good about seeing them coming too. Say I have been watching a basketball coach, say Bob Huggins (slays me when Bill Raftery or someone calls him Huggie Bear, by the way), ride a referee up and down the court all game long. His breath probably smells like Paul Mason and he is sweating through his suit. After a particularly poor call late in the third quarter, the referee is doing that gay backwards fast-walk thing they do down the sideline in the direction of the coach. The coach leans into the path of the ref at exactly the right moment, spews something particularly venomous or obscene (This moment is a million times more awesome if a random network mic is close enough to pick up the exchange and broadcast it into your home so you get to hear exactly what was said. It’s always something like, “You are so fucking bad.” Or “You’re a fucking faggot (“pussy” can also do the trick.) The same concept of awesomeness applies to college basketball games when you can hear the entire crowd chanting something like “Fuck You J.J.” or “You Have Herpes” coming through your TV during the heart of the conference season). Now I’m watching this unfold over on the sideline while the play is developing on the court. I see that the last comment has really affected the referee. He glares at the coach as he passes him, cocks back his arms and drops an explosive T-bomb, the tips of his fingers on his right hand nearly pierce the skin of his left palm. The coach is stunned and reacts one of two ways: He either realizes he has gone too far and contritely has a seat or he goes Robert Knight. Either way, the moment is great (especially if it happens to Mike Kryzlksjggsdfski).

Now, in the NFL, this shift towards and more basketball-like approach, in which the referees (and through which, the league) have a legitimate way of disciplining a coach in-game, would like require some rules tweaks. A fifteen yard penalty is obviously too harsh a price to pay for cursing at a referee. I propose a five yard penalty and a limit of two of such penalties per game. If you receive two technical fouls the coach is ejected. This would prove especially amusing if the head coach also has offensive or defensive play caller. You would get overwhelmed, running back coaches dialing up plays from deep within the recesses of playbook because this is the play that he came up with in practice that one time. It would be rule.)

Mark Clayton cost the Ravens this victory. I love this new look Ravens offense, but when I saw Derrick Mason get up slowly after making that ridiculous touchdown grab and had a mini-panic attack I realized once and for all how limited this receiving core really is. I have watched too many boring, run the ball on first and second down every series, Ravens teams not be excited about this pass-happy offense but they really need another receiving option who isn’t going to let a ball bounce of his chest on fourth down with the game in the balance.